I was on my way to Hawai'i Kai at 9am. I made a stop at Safeway® in Kuapa Kai to purchase a cup of coffee. There was none, and one of the employees were planning to brew a new batch anytime soon. It was still a little too early for moms and I to drive to Kahala Mall, so I washed my beloved Nissan® Frontier truck. At 10am, we were on our way.
I purchased a cup of coffee from Starbuck's®. Moms did a little shopping at Longs®. We ate lunch at Pearl's Korean Barbeque. Moms kept telling me that the food was extremely sweet. The food tasted exactly the same to me. Moms was also sniffling. She claimed that her sinuses were acting up. Coupled with the symptoms of blurry vision and the "dizzy head," I began to wonder if the hemorrhaging was somehow related. Could the bleeding be affecting the areas of the brain which control the senses? After lunch, we drove back to Hawai'i Kai. We stopped at Foodland in Koko Marina so moms could purchase a few food items. Moms served up coffee ice cream for dessert. We chatted for a little while. Then, I was on my way.
I dropped my truck off on the side street near Slob Manor (read: rental housing). I baked in the sun for about 20 minutes until the bus arrived. Once I arrived in town, I walked to the gym. I did my usual workout. In true robotic fashion, I headed to the bus stop after my workout. The 4:05pm Route 1L bus arrived on time, but the driver did not want to let us board. The whole bus was empty when we finally were allowed on board. The driver was talking on her cell phone to a supervisor in an attempt to find out which bus stops are served by the route. Apparently, the driver had passed all of the bus stops in town prior to the one I was standing at. Why are the bus drivers not given specific details about the route before assigned to it? The rest of the ride was mind-numbing. We followed behind a regular Route 1 bus because the driver was not acquainted with the special stops. However, the limited stops are only for the corridor after Punchbowl Street in town and ends at Kahala Mall. Even the passengers have no idea about what's going on. Oddly, I appear to be sole person who knows anything about Route 1L.
After piddling around in my squalid room for an hour or so, I departed for Kahala Mall on the bus. I meandered around the mall until I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. I purchased a Triple Chunk Chocolate Cookie from the café on the way out. That, my friends, was the highlight of the evening.
The landlord of Slob Manor had called three times in the last two days, leaving one message. Apparently in an uproar over the housemates' big party, the landlord is now planning to give us all a 45-day notice to vacate the premises (read: eviction). It's almost laughable, although I knew that it was coming. A moderate headache quickly developed upon hearing the news. Is there no end to the stupidity that I must endure?
Well, I installed the new OpenOffice Version 2.3 Office Suite last night on my Toshiba® Satellite P105 notebook computer. I am pretty much stuck with Windows® Vista until I can solve some ridiculous issues concerning Linux. The fault apparently lies with Toshiba® computers, although there has been some debate about the Linux kernal itself being the culprit. It seems that I made a big mistake by choosing a Toshiba® notebook computer to use for the Linux conversion. There is endless forum chatter about the latter's video and audio issues, with the audio problem being the worst of the two. I have located an article that may have found the solutions to both the video and audio problems which appeared on the Linux Laptop Wiki. Why do I always make the wrong choices?
Monday, December 10, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Paper Wings
The Slob Manor (read: rental housing) house party, sans House Music, went on until the wee hours of the morning. A young drunk hottie staggered into my squalid room at one point while I was piddling around on my notebook computer. At 3am, I was too fatigued to think. I installed my ear plugs and attempted to sleep. In actuality, I was able to sleep even though someone was playing the drums just outside my door while shitty reggae music dominated the recorded selections bellowing through the highly distorted stereo system. I was very groggy when I woke up this morning at 9am. The smell of stale brewskis still permeated the whole of Slob Manor. The place was a mess. I packed my stuff and departed for town. Traffic along Kalani'ana'ole Highway was not bad considering that the entire eastbound lanes were devoted to the Honolulu Marathon. There were thousands of people snaking along in both directions. Regardless, the bus made good time.
Once in town, I embarked on my usual homeless guy emulation commencing with brunch courtesy Safeway®. I piddled around until 12:15pm. Then, I walked to the gym. I observed the hottie gym trainer was busy working with a gym member when I descended the stairs to the weight room. Oh man, baby was looking hot. Even in a fatigued state, my mind started playing tricks on me. Well, there's no need to elaborate since baby is not coming around.
I rode an extemely crowded bus back to Slob Manor. The ride was far from relaxing, and my patience was already taxed from a lack of sleep. Upon my arrival in Slob Manor, I observed that a half-ass job was done to clean the dump. I cleaned the official partygoers' bathroom. I also cleaned up the second floor dance area and rearranged the furniture. I thought of making the jaunt to Kahala Mall, but I was too tired. All of the housemates came and went, so I had the dump to myself after 7pm. I spent the whole evening piddling around with my Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer and listened to DI.FM Deep House on Net radio.
A couple of days ago, I viewed an interesting video titled, "The Money Masters" (also available in two parts). Although I was not impressed with the inclusion of a couple of Milton Friedman's quotes, I was entranced by the sordid history of the "American" banking system, namely the coup that brought the Federal Reserve Bank into existence. If a complete history of the modern "fractional reserve" banking system of money creation through debt is too cumbersome to sit through, then I recommend that just the second part of the documentary be viewed. Believe me, it's a "seat of the pants" piece of work that will keep you wondering about what your money is worth. For me, I came to a better understanding of a conclusion that I stumbled upon myself a while back. The financial "system," the "system" run by the moneychangers and powers-that-be, are pulling the strings. Politics and current affairs are simply "incidentals." Just follow the money, my friends.
Once in town, I embarked on my usual homeless guy emulation commencing with brunch courtesy Safeway®. I piddled around until 12:15pm. Then, I walked to the gym. I observed the hottie gym trainer was busy working with a gym member when I descended the stairs to the weight room. Oh man, baby was looking hot. Even in a fatigued state, my mind started playing tricks on me. Well, there's no need to elaborate since baby is not coming around.
I rode an extemely crowded bus back to Slob Manor. The ride was far from relaxing, and my patience was already taxed from a lack of sleep. Upon my arrival in Slob Manor, I observed that a half-ass job was done to clean the dump. I cleaned the official partygoers' bathroom. I also cleaned up the second floor dance area and rearranged the furniture. I thought of making the jaunt to Kahala Mall, but I was too tired. All of the housemates came and went, so I had the dump to myself after 7pm. I spent the whole evening piddling around with my Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer and listened to DI.FM Deep House on Net radio.
A couple of days ago, I viewed an interesting video titled, "The Money Masters" (also available in two parts). Although I was not impressed with the inclusion of a couple of Milton Friedman's quotes, I was entranced by the sordid history of the "American" banking system, namely the coup that brought the Federal Reserve Bank into existence. If a complete history of the modern "fractional reserve" banking system of money creation through debt is too cumbersome to sit through, then I recommend that just the second part of the documentary be viewed. Believe me, it's a "seat of the pants" piece of work that will keep you wondering about what your money is worth. For me, I came to a better understanding of a conclusion that I stumbled upon myself a while back. The financial "system," the "system" run by the moneychangers and powers-that-be, are pulling the strings. Politics and current affairs are simply "incidentals." Just follow the money, my friends.
Saturday, December 08, 2007
Phase of Life (Reprise)
The bus ride to Kahala Mall this morning took 45 minutes due to road repairs near Aina Haina. Traffic was completely gridlocked. I spent about an hour or so in the Barnes & Noble® Café with a delicious cup of coffee. I returned to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) before 11:30am. My housemates informed me that a big party was planned for the evening. I was invited. I thanked them graciously. However, I had no intention of participating.
I piddled around for a few minutes. I departed for Hawai'i Kai at 11:30pm, making a stop at Safeway® in Kuapa Kai to purchase a few air-filled energy bars for my brunch. I tried to to find a place to sit down and eat my air-filled energy bars. However, like most modern strip mall, the one in Kuapa Kai had no outside seating unless the latter was part of an eating establishment. I finally sat on a grubby concrete bench outside Longs®. Within minutes, one of the Longs® employees sat on the adjacent bench and lit up a cigarette. Never mind that there are "No Smoking" sign all along the building as required by the farcical anti-smoking laws. Naturally, the bench that the bitch sat on was downwind from me. Disgusted, I got up and walked back to my truck.
I decided that I would eat the air-filled energy bars as I drove over to pick up moms. More road construction led to a 20 minute traffic jam in the Safeway® parking lot. I had to take a circuitous route around Hawai'i Kai Drive. Nonetheless, I arrived on time. Moms and I left within a few minutes for town. We arrived at the doctor's office right on schedule at 2pm. The office had about six chairs, a box of magazines on a long table, and a wall-mounted tube with the Food Channel playing. On the table was a clipboard with a form. Aside from the entrance, there was one other door, which was windowless. There was an elderly couple sitting at one end of the room. I asked them where we check in. The elderly guy told us that moms would have to fill out the form on the clipboard and wait. Apparently, the couple's mother was in the MRI lab. Had they not been there, we would not have known what to do.
At about 2:30pm, the sole person working at the clinic appeared from behind the windowless door. He signaled for the elderly couple to enter the MRI lab. Moms had to fill out a couple more forms in the meantime. After the elderly couple wheeled their mother, who was in a wheelchair, outside, the sole lab person asked moms a few questions. He was abrupt with moms. I wanted to slap his head, but I refrained. A few minutes later, moms was admitted into the MRI lab. I took moms' purse and put it in my truck. The process was supposed to take about 45 minutes. Initially, I planned to take a walk. However, I aborted the idea when I was about a block away from the office.
I sat in the waiting room for the rest of the time. I perused the pathetic magazine collection. I glanced at the idiotic program on the Food Channel every now and then. Mostly, I sat and pondered exactly what was going on. There is a chance that moms is seriously ill. This is not a "reality" show. This is real life. Frankly, I became so overwhelmed that I could barely think. I retrieved moms' purse from my truck before moms was finished. I was happy to see moms when all was said and done.
We drove to Kahala Mall so moms could look around Longs®. Moms was probably too fatigued to shop since she missed her afternoon nap. We ate a late lunch at Panda Express®. I cannot even articulate what the simple act of eating lunch with moms meant to me. Given the circumstances, those moments are becoming extremely precious. After lunch, I drove moms back to Hawai'i Kai. After I dropped moms off, I drove to Koko Marina and did my cardio workout at the gym. Then, I returned to Slob Manor.
The housemates were all busy preparing for the big party. I dropped off my gym bag, and told them that I would be back after running a few errands. I first drove to CompUSA®. I arrived there at 7pm. I meandered around until 8:30pm. Then, I drove to Ala Moana Center. I wandered around a variety of stores before ending up at Barnes & Noble®. I was surprised to see the hottie "bookseller" on duty. Baby was looking mighty fine. I also purchased a large Coffee Frappacino. My mind, however, was fixated on moms' situation. At various times, I could barely keep myself composed. I left when the store closed at 11pm.
Sadly, I knew I had to drive back to Slob Manor. When I arrived, the party was in full swing. The second floor was where the dance area and music was located. I closed the door behind me when I walked into my squalid room. The smell of stale brewskis was everywhere. The bathroom that I share with the Indian guy was the official partygoers' bathroom. I did not want to be there. So, I grabbed my stuff and left.
There was really no place to go. So, I drove to Koko Marina, hoping that Foodland or Taco Bell® was open. I eventually purchased a mediocre sandwich from Foodland. Most of the clowns filing in and out of Foodland were buying large quantities of cheap booze. I sat outside on one of the tables and ate my bland sandwich. A homeless guy sat at the next table.
I piddled around for a few minutes. I departed for Hawai'i Kai at 11:30pm, making a stop at Safeway® in Kuapa Kai to purchase a few air-filled energy bars for my brunch. I tried to to find a place to sit down and eat my air-filled energy bars. However, like most modern strip mall, the one in Kuapa Kai had no outside seating unless the latter was part of an eating establishment. I finally sat on a grubby concrete bench outside Longs®. Within minutes, one of the Longs® employees sat on the adjacent bench and lit up a cigarette. Never mind that there are "No Smoking" sign all along the building as required by the farcical anti-smoking laws. Naturally, the bench that the bitch sat on was downwind from me. Disgusted, I got up and walked back to my truck.
I decided that I would eat the air-filled energy bars as I drove over to pick up moms. More road construction led to a 20 minute traffic jam in the Safeway® parking lot. I had to take a circuitous route around Hawai'i Kai Drive. Nonetheless, I arrived on time. Moms and I left within a few minutes for town. We arrived at the doctor's office right on schedule at 2pm. The office had about six chairs, a box of magazines on a long table, and a wall-mounted tube with the Food Channel playing. On the table was a clipboard with a form. Aside from the entrance, there was one other door, which was windowless. There was an elderly couple sitting at one end of the room. I asked them where we check in. The elderly guy told us that moms would have to fill out the form on the clipboard and wait. Apparently, the couple's mother was in the MRI lab. Had they not been there, we would not have known what to do.
At about 2:30pm, the sole person working at the clinic appeared from behind the windowless door. He signaled for the elderly couple to enter the MRI lab. Moms had to fill out a couple more forms in the meantime. After the elderly couple wheeled their mother, who was in a wheelchair, outside, the sole lab person asked moms a few questions. He was abrupt with moms. I wanted to slap his head, but I refrained. A few minutes later, moms was admitted into the MRI lab. I took moms' purse and put it in my truck. The process was supposed to take about 45 minutes. Initially, I planned to take a walk. However, I aborted the idea when I was about a block away from the office.
I sat in the waiting room for the rest of the time. I perused the pathetic magazine collection. I glanced at the idiotic program on the Food Channel every now and then. Mostly, I sat and pondered exactly what was going on. There is a chance that moms is seriously ill. This is not a "reality" show. This is real life. Frankly, I became so overwhelmed that I could barely think. I retrieved moms' purse from my truck before moms was finished. I was happy to see moms when all was said and done.
We drove to Kahala Mall so moms could look around Longs®. Moms was probably too fatigued to shop since she missed her afternoon nap. We ate a late lunch at Panda Express®. I cannot even articulate what the simple act of eating lunch with moms meant to me. Given the circumstances, those moments are becoming extremely precious. After lunch, I drove moms back to Hawai'i Kai. After I dropped moms off, I drove to Koko Marina and did my cardio workout at the gym. Then, I returned to Slob Manor.
The housemates were all busy preparing for the big party. I dropped off my gym bag, and told them that I would be back after running a few errands. I first drove to CompUSA®. I arrived there at 7pm. I meandered around until 8:30pm. Then, I drove to Ala Moana Center. I wandered around a variety of stores before ending up at Barnes & Noble®. I was surprised to see the hottie "bookseller" on duty. Baby was looking mighty fine. I also purchased a large Coffee Frappacino. My mind, however, was fixated on moms' situation. At various times, I could barely keep myself composed. I left when the store closed at 11pm.
Sadly, I knew I had to drive back to Slob Manor. When I arrived, the party was in full swing. The second floor was where the dance area and music was located. I closed the door behind me when I walked into my squalid room. The smell of stale brewskis was everywhere. The bathroom that I share with the Indian guy was the official partygoers' bathroom. I did not want to be there. So, I grabbed my stuff and left.
There was really no place to go. So, I drove to Koko Marina, hoping that Foodland or Taco Bell® was open. I eventually purchased a mediocre sandwich from Foodland. Most of the clowns filing in and out of Foodland were buying large quantities of cheap booze. I sat outside on one of the tables and ate my bland sandwich. A homeless guy sat at the next table.
I drove back to Slob Manor. The party was going even stronger. I locked myself in my squalid room for the duration. In another time and place, I would have been more open to participate with the fools. However, I've been there too many times. It's the same ol' shit. I no longer wish to consume cheap booze. What good has it done me? There were a few young hotties at the party, but they have no time for an old codger. Then again, I no longer have time for stupidity. The upcoming year may be very trying for the ol' lavahead. Too many things are going on, and too many things are going awry. It's the phase of life that I knew would eventually come about. And, now I must face it head on.
Friday, December 07, 2007
Limited Stops
I stuffed my face with M&M®'s candy last night while I walked around Kahala Mall, so much so that I did not sleep well. Aside from the high quantity of sugar, chocolate also contains caffeine. I was fairly groggy when I finally got up this morning.
I attempted to ride the 9:45am Route 1L bus to town, but again it did not show up at the scheduled time. Either the bus was extremely late or extremely early. Who knows? I had to stand with my umbrella in a sudden downpour for about ten minutes until the Route 23 (formerly Route 58) bus came by. I decided to stay on that bus and stop off in Waikiki. I had the GET form from yesterday on my person, so I could bring it by Quagmire Prison (read: hotel).
Once at Quagmire Prison, I was reminded of my painful incarceration there not so long ago. The prison staff (read: hotel staff) was as unfriendly as ever. I can't sat that I miss the dump. Fortunately, I noted that the "Vacancy" sign was turned off, so the dump was full. The assistant warden (read: assistant manager) made a copy of the GET form. If I did not submit the form, I would not receive my distribution of the rental proceeds of my "condotel" unit. I will be receiving last month's proceeds around December 24th (less the rip-off $250 "start up" fee). My financial updates at the beginning of each month will reflect the various rip-offs.
I rode the bus to town to begin a belated homeless guy kind-of-a-day. Fortunately, the rain had stopped. I was able to procure my brunch at Safeway®. As I sat and consumed my brunch in the catacombs of Kukui Plaza, I observed a huge downpour commence. The good part about being retired is that I am never in a hurry to get anywhere. Rather than walk through the Capitol district, I decided to ride the bus for three blocks to reach my destination, the library. A short walk across King Street, and I was there.
I sat in the inner courtyard of the library. I lapsed in and out of a coma while the soothing sound of the rain added to the ambiance. At one point, I noticed that drool was dripping down the side of my mouth. Well, hey! I am a senior citizen now! At 2:15pm, I made the trek to the gym. I was momentarily detained by another downpour, but the various trees in the Capitol district supplemented my overwhelmed umbrella.
I did my usual workout at the gym. I attempted to ride a regular Route 1 bus to Kaimuki and transfer to the Route 1L. However, we were moving in very slow motion. Afraid that the Route 1L bus would pass us, I alighted at a stop near Ward Avenue. The Route 1L was 20 minutes late and completely full. More and more satanic gargoyles boarded the bus at each of the limited stops. The whole affair was reminiscent of a cheesy circus. Idiots were yelling when we passed by bus stops where they thought they could disembark. Obviously, quite a few idiots could not grasp the meaning of "Limited Stops" on the signage. As we passed the various bus stops, I could see idiots yelling and waving their arms, also unable to understand what "Limited Stops" means. Traffic was extremely bad with most of the town streets completely gridlocked. Even I, a retired senior citizen in no hurry to be anywhere, was beginning to lose my patience. Frankly, it was the level of sheer stupidity that was getting to me as opposed to the wasted time.
I was extremely fatigued when I set foot in Slob Manor (read: rental housing). I ate beans and bread for dinner as usual. I had thought of going out to eat somewhere in Kahala Mall, most likely Taco Bell®. However, I did not want to ride the bus again. The rain was still coming down off and on. My nerves were shot. I decided to stay in, which may not have been a better alternative. I sat in my squalid room all evening with my beloved Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer. Thanks goodness for the DI.FM Deep House channel.
At about 8pm, Tobin, one of the housemates downstairs, turned up his cheesy stereo full blast. All the housemates were there except for Jay, who was at work. I suspect that they were trying to push me to see if I would "snitch" on them to the landlord. How infantile! They have no idea that I have many their things to worry about than their little games. I continued to sit in my squalid room and listen to Net radio. After all, there's more to the phrase, "limited stops," than the simple application for bus stops.
I attempted to ride the 9:45am Route 1L bus to town, but again it did not show up at the scheduled time. Either the bus was extremely late or extremely early. Who knows? I had to stand with my umbrella in a sudden downpour for about ten minutes until the Route 23 (formerly Route 58) bus came by. I decided to stay on that bus and stop off in Waikiki. I had the GET form from yesterday on my person, so I could bring it by Quagmire Prison (read: hotel).
Once at Quagmire Prison, I was reminded of my painful incarceration there not so long ago. The prison staff (read: hotel staff) was as unfriendly as ever. I can't sat that I miss the dump. Fortunately, I noted that the "Vacancy" sign was turned off, so the dump was full. The assistant warden (read: assistant manager) made a copy of the GET form. If I did not submit the form, I would not receive my distribution of the rental proceeds of my "condotel" unit. I will be receiving last month's proceeds around December 24th (less the rip-off $250 "start up" fee). My financial updates at the beginning of each month will reflect the various rip-offs.
I rode the bus to town to begin a belated homeless guy kind-of-a-day. Fortunately, the rain had stopped. I was able to procure my brunch at Safeway®. As I sat and consumed my brunch in the catacombs of Kukui Plaza, I observed a huge downpour commence. The good part about being retired is that I am never in a hurry to get anywhere. Rather than walk through the Capitol district, I decided to ride the bus for three blocks to reach my destination, the library. A short walk across King Street, and I was there.
I sat in the inner courtyard of the library. I lapsed in and out of a coma while the soothing sound of the rain added to the ambiance. At one point, I noticed that drool was dripping down the side of my mouth. Well, hey! I am a senior citizen now! At 2:15pm, I made the trek to the gym. I was momentarily detained by another downpour, but the various trees in the Capitol district supplemented my overwhelmed umbrella.
I did my usual workout at the gym. I attempted to ride a regular Route 1 bus to Kaimuki and transfer to the Route 1L. However, we were moving in very slow motion. Afraid that the Route 1L bus would pass us, I alighted at a stop near Ward Avenue. The Route 1L was 20 minutes late and completely full. More and more satanic gargoyles boarded the bus at each of the limited stops. The whole affair was reminiscent of a cheesy circus. Idiots were yelling when we passed by bus stops where they thought they could disembark. Obviously, quite a few idiots could not grasp the meaning of "Limited Stops" on the signage. As we passed the various bus stops, I could see idiots yelling and waving their arms, also unable to understand what "Limited Stops" means. Traffic was extremely bad with most of the town streets completely gridlocked. Even I, a retired senior citizen in no hurry to be anywhere, was beginning to lose my patience. Frankly, it was the level of sheer stupidity that was getting to me as opposed to the wasted time.
I was extremely fatigued when I set foot in Slob Manor (read: rental housing). I ate beans and bread for dinner as usual. I had thought of going out to eat somewhere in Kahala Mall, most likely Taco Bell®. However, I did not want to ride the bus again. The rain was still coming down off and on. My nerves were shot. I decided to stay in, which may not have been a better alternative. I sat in my squalid room all evening with my beloved Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer. Thanks goodness for the DI.FM Deep House channel.
At about 8pm, Tobin, one of the housemates downstairs, turned up his cheesy stereo full blast. All the housemates were there except for Jay, who was at work. I suspect that they were trying to push me to see if I would "snitch" on them to the landlord. How infantile! They have no idea that I have many their things to worry about than their little games. I continued to sit in my squalid room and listen to Net radio. After all, there's more to the phrase, "limited stops," than the simple application for bus stops.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Forever Mundane
Another downpour commenced last night and continued on until this morning. I debated about whether I should ride the bus to town or not. On the agenda was a visit to the Business Action Center (BAC) way out on Nimitz Highway. I thought about the potential for chaos if there was heavy rain in town. Thus, I decided to drive my trusty Nissan® Frontier truck. The State has numerous vacant office buildings in town. I have no idea why the BAC was located in such an inconvenient location. I decided to stop at Kahala Mall first and relax with a hot cup of coffee in the Barnes & Noble® Café. If I am going to drive anywhere, I must as well make the most of it, eh?
The drive to town was quick. The rain apparently had passed a few hours earlier. If I had known, I would not have driven there. parking was another fiasco, since I really did not know where the dump was located. Finally, I found a customer parking stall. I parked my truck and went in search of the elusive BAC office. It turned out that I was in the right building. The office was on the second floor in the back. I was there to obtain my GET certificate for the despicable "condotel" unit. I paid the $20 fee and was on my way within 20 minutes. I drove out to Hawai'i Kai. Moms was just returning home when I arrived at noon.
Moms showed me a big box goodies that Aunty Lyn (moms' sister) had sent her. Aunty Lyn will be flying here from Cali next week to visit for three days. I drove moms to Koko Marina to shop for groceries at Foodland. Then, we picked up plate lunches at Zippy's. After lunch, I walked down to Koko Marina to go to the gym. I did my usual workout. Then, I walked back to say good-bye to moms.
The sky was clear and the sun was out when I drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing). Just minutes after I set foot in Slob Manor, a sudden downpour commenced. I had no choice but to perform the dreaded laundry chores. I also cleaned the bathroom again. The Indian guy, whom I share the bathroom with, has yet to do any cleaning. He's probably happy that he has free maid service. Heck, I don't even take a shower there. The filth and slime that covers every fixture in the bathroom is a product of the Indian guy. I even cleaned his diarrhea stains in the commode. Frankly, I have no time to play infantile games with any of those fools. Then again, I have no idea what the hygiene standards are in India.
Did I make a run to my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, tonight? You bet. First, I meandered around Kahala Mall. And, I stopped by Longs® to purchase a big-ass bag of M&M's® candy. That was my dinner, by the way. Sadly, I returned to Slob Manor before 9pm. Incidentally, the buses were all running early tonight. Whassup wi' dat?
I have calmed myself down about moms' health. There's not much that can be done until the MRI is completed and its findings as well as that of the ultrasound tests are reviewed by moms' physician. While I am certain that the problem is not trivial, there may be medically non-intrusive options available. So far, moms has not experienced any adverse symptoms beyond the recent "dizzy head" episode (which actually was quite severe).
The drive to town was quick. The rain apparently had passed a few hours earlier. If I had known, I would not have driven there. parking was another fiasco, since I really did not know where the dump was located. Finally, I found a customer parking stall. I parked my truck and went in search of the elusive BAC office. It turned out that I was in the right building. The office was on the second floor in the back. I was there to obtain my GET certificate for the despicable "condotel" unit. I paid the $20 fee and was on my way within 20 minutes. I drove out to Hawai'i Kai. Moms was just returning home when I arrived at noon.
Moms showed me a big box goodies that Aunty Lyn (moms' sister) had sent her. Aunty Lyn will be flying here from Cali next week to visit for three days. I drove moms to Koko Marina to shop for groceries at Foodland. Then, we picked up plate lunches at Zippy's. After lunch, I walked down to Koko Marina to go to the gym. I did my usual workout. Then, I walked back to say good-bye to moms.
The sky was clear and the sun was out when I drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing). Just minutes after I set foot in Slob Manor, a sudden downpour commenced. I had no choice but to perform the dreaded laundry chores. I also cleaned the bathroom again. The Indian guy, whom I share the bathroom with, has yet to do any cleaning. He's probably happy that he has free maid service. Heck, I don't even take a shower there. The filth and slime that covers every fixture in the bathroom is a product of the Indian guy. I even cleaned his diarrhea stains in the commode. Frankly, I have no time to play infantile games with any of those fools. Then again, I have no idea what the hygiene standards are in India.
Did I make a run to my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, tonight? You bet. First, I meandered around Kahala Mall. And, I stopped by Longs® to purchase a big-ass bag of M&M's® candy. That was my dinner, by the way. Sadly, I returned to Slob Manor before 9pm. Incidentally, the buses were all running early tonight. Whassup wi' dat?
I have calmed myself down about moms' health. There's not much that can be done until the MRI is completed and its findings as well as that of the ultrasound tests are reviewed by moms' physician. While I am certain that the problem is not trivial, there may be medically non-intrusive options available. So far, moms has not experienced any adverse symptoms beyond the recent "dizzy head" episode (which actually was quite severe).
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Shopping Mummy
Another homeless guy emulation kind-of-a-day. Once again, rather than going into the redundant details, I will mummify the discussion right here. The only aggravating part of the day was my trip to town on the bus, which took all of one hour and 30 minutes. Most of that time was spent waiting for buses that never arrived. I rode three different buses to get to town, by the way.
The gym is still my sole purpose for the daily jaunt to town. Yes, I must acquire my brunch at Safeway® since I stock no brunch items at Slob Manor (read: rental housing). The gym, however, is the focal point of my day. The rest of my daily routine is simply to fill the void of too much time on my hands.
I ended up at Kahala Mall again tonight, with my safe haven, Barnes & Noble® being my final stop. As much as I despise shopping malls, I find that I can escape reality when I am in one. I have no interest in acquiring more useless crap, but I browse the stores and peruse all of the crap. I pick up and inspect the items just as a real shopper would. All of my nagging concerns simply disappear while I mindlessly emulate a consumer. I become a complacent zombie. A window shopping mummy. To add to the shopping ambiance, I purchased a cup of decaffeinated coffee from the Barnes & Noble® Café to sip while I pretended to be a shopper. When I returned to Slob Manor, I felt much more relaxed. Is that why the majority of the nation is in an apathetic stupor?
Finally, I must at least make a brief comment about the recently released NIE (National Intelligence Estimate) findings that have contradicted the Shrub administrations assertions about Iran's nuclear bomb ambitions. Nothing will stop the upcoming incursion into Iran. The truth did not stop the incursion into Iraq. We are just waiting for the Fed to lower short-term interest rates to the war level of two percent or lower. In the "corporatocracy" (read: Facist state), the corporations and the financial system determine when and where the wars will occur. The political process is simply a "dog and pony show."
The gym is still my sole purpose for the daily jaunt to town. Yes, I must acquire my brunch at Safeway® since I stock no brunch items at Slob Manor (read: rental housing). The gym, however, is the focal point of my day. The rest of my daily routine is simply to fill the void of too much time on my hands.
I ended up at Kahala Mall again tonight, with my safe haven, Barnes & Noble® being my final stop. As much as I despise shopping malls, I find that I can escape reality when I am in one. I have no interest in acquiring more useless crap, but I browse the stores and peruse all of the crap. I pick up and inspect the items just as a real shopper would. All of my nagging concerns simply disappear while I mindlessly emulate a consumer. I become a complacent zombie. A window shopping mummy. To add to the shopping ambiance, I purchased a cup of decaffeinated coffee from the Barnes & Noble® Café to sip while I pretended to be a shopper. When I returned to Slob Manor, I felt much more relaxed. Is that why the majority of the nation is in an apathetic stupor?
Finally, I must at least make a brief comment about the recently released NIE (National Intelligence Estimate) findings that have contradicted the Shrub administrations assertions about Iran's nuclear bomb ambitions. Nothing will stop the upcoming incursion into Iran. The truth did not stop the incursion into Iraq. We are just waiting for the Fed to lower short-term interest rates to the war level of two percent or lower. In the "corporatocracy" (read: Facist state), the corporations and the financial system determine when and where the wars will occur. The political process is simply a "dog and pony show."
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Truth to Meaning
Lord knows, we can only imagine what another homeless emulation kind-of-a-day entailed. It's not a mystery, it's all history ... in the "blog," that is. So, I will spare all of the redundant details. I neglected to mention that I transferred $2,127 to my local bank yesterday.
I did spend a lot of time thinking about the meaning of life again. My thoughts somehow converged to when I was sitting on the padded bench with moms yesterday in the waiting of the Cardiac Ward of Queen's Hospital. I wish that I had a picture of that. All kinds of thoughts went through my head while we sat there. I tried to remember way back when I was a kid. If I had a doctor's appointment, I would be taken there by moms on the bus. Then, moms would wait with me in the doctor's office. Now, the roles are reversed. I know that moms is worried. However, there is nothing that I can say or do to make things better. I will just be there with moms.
I don't really want to call this moment in time an epiphany. I despise the term. It's too "New Age." However, since yesterday, very little else in my life seemed to matter anymore. I really could care less about the financial world. I will eventually be robbed of all of my assets anyway. I have become too sickened of politics and current affairs to care about either. Everything that I believe to be true is dismissed as "conspiracy theory." I definitely could care less about my worldly possessions. My education, my worthless experiences out on my own ... all superfluous. Why bother? The end of days are nearing, and we must divest ourselves of total trivia. We must care about what really matters and nothing more.
I ended up at Kahala Mall again tonight. I purchased a microwave oven rice cooker (made in China) for $8 at Longs®. I am not certain if I will ever cook rice again, but I now have a cheap and fast option. Then, I spent an hour at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. The Asian hottie "bookseller" was on duty. Baby was looking gorgeous. I returned to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) by 9pm. I will spend the rest of the evening with my Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer.
I did spend a lot of time thinking about the meaning of life again. My thoughts somehow converged to when I was sitting on the padded bench with moms yesterday in the waiting of the Cardiac Ward of Queen's Hospital. I wish that I had a picture of that. All kinds of thoughts went through my head while we sat there. I tried to remember way back when I was a kid. If I had a doctor's appointment, I would be taken there by moms on the bus. Then, moms would wait with me in the doctor's office. Now, the roles are reversed. I know that moms is worried. However, there is nothing that I can say or do to make things better. I will just be there with moms.
I don't really want to call this moment in time an epiphany. I despise the term. It's too "New Age." However, since yesterday, very little else in my life seemed to matter anymore. I really could care less about the financial world. I will eventually be robbed of all of my assets anyway. I have become too sickened of politics and current affairs to care about either. Everything that I believe to be true is dismissed as "conspiracy theory." I definitely could care less about my worldly possessions. My education, my worthless experiences out on my own ... all superfluous. Why bother? The end of days are nearing, and we must divest ourselves of total trivia. We must care about what really matters and nothing more.
I ended up at Kahala Mall again tonight. I purchased a microwave oven rice cooker (made in China) for $8 at Longs®. I am not certain if I will ever cook rice again, but I now have a cheap and fast option. Then, I spent an hour at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. The Asian hottie "bookseller" was on duty. Baby was looking gorgeous. I returned to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) by 9pm. I will spend the rest of the evening with my Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Meaning of Life
I drove out to Hawai'i Kai in my truck at 9am. My first stop was Safeway® to purchase my obligatory cup of coffee. Hardly anything beats a hot cup of Colombian coffee in the morning. Moms was waiting when I arrived. Moms showed me the paperwork for her appointments. The one today at Queen's Hospital was to be for an ultrasound test. On Saturday, moms will be going in to a smaller clinic for a MRI. I could tell that moms was a little worried. Her doctor had referred to the bleeding as "hemorrhaging."
I drove down to Koko Marina at 11am to expedite my schedule. First, I did a slightly abbreviated version of my usual workout. Then, I purchased a couple of packages of sushi from Kozo Sushi and a Beef Curry plate lunch from Loco Moco. I drove back with the food. Moms and I ate lunch with ample time to prepare for our departure.
The drive to town was fairly quick. Parking at Queen's Hospital was a nightmare, though. We finally found parking on the top floor of the parking structure. The walk to the main building was fairly long. The hospital is a huge maze of hallways and wings. We went through the whole process of waiting in the admissions area, completing the paperwork, and finding our way to Cardiac Wing where the ultrasound tests are performed. I stayed with moms throughout the whole process, even sitting in the waiting room.
A lot of thoughts passed through my mind as I sat with moms and while I watched the technician perform the ultrasound tests. Mostly, I seemed to be in denial. Moms will be fine, I kept telling myself. The ultrasound tests were to check the arteries running along moms' neck. The technician told moms that everything looked good. I was thankful to hear that. However, on Saturday, moms will have a MRI brain scan done. That's going to be critical because that's where the hemorrhaging is located. I already know that any kind of major surgery will be very taxing for moms. Thus, I am praying that nothing is wrong. Yet, I know that any kind of internal bleeding is not a good sign. I could sense that moms was worried. All I could do was be there with moms during these trying times. And, I will do the same when moms goes in for the MRI.
The ultrasound tests took about 30 minutes. Moms and I were on our way back to Hawai'i Kai by 3:10pm. We arrived 20 minutes later. I did not stay long because moms was fatigued. Moms always take a nap after lunch, but she had to postpone the nap until we returned. Before leaving, I cautioned moms to call for the ambulance if there she experienced any more sharp head pains or the "dizzy head."
I drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) and parked my truck out on the side street. I chatted with Jay, one of the housemates, for a while. Then, I sat in my squalid and composed the "blog" on my notebook computer. At one point, I completely broke down and began sobbing. I was becoming extremely melancholy. So, I forced myself to make the trip to Kahala Mall. I wandered around the mall aimlessly as usual. However, the distractions of consumerism helped lift my spirits. I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, to no surprise. I purchased a cup of decaffeinated coffee as my treat for the evening. The hot coffee had a soothing effect.
I made the mistake of staying an hour longer. My choices are limited with the new bus schedule. The bus arrived 20 minutes late. By then, the rain had started coming down fiercely. I was perturbed, but there was little that could be done to alleviate the situation. Once back in Slob Manor, I settled into the same ol' shit. I just hope that moms is sleeping well tonight.
I drove down to Koko Marina at 11am to expedite my schedule. First, I did a slightly abbreviated version of my usual workout. Then, I purchased a couple of packages of sushi from Kozo Sushi and a Beef Curry plate lunch from Loco Moco. I drove back with the food. Moms and I ate lunch with ample time to prepare for our departure.
The drive to town was fairly quick. Parking at Queen's Hospital was a nightmare, though. We finally found parking on the top floor of the parking structure. The walk to the main building was fairly long. The hospital is a huge maze of hallways and wings. We went through the whole process of waiting in the admissions area, completing the paperwork, and finding our way to Cardiac Wing where the ultrasound tests are performed. I stayed with moms throughout the whole process, even sitting in the waiting room.
A lot of thoughts passed through my mind as I sat with moms and while I watched the technician perform the ultrasound tests. Mostly, I seemed to be in denial. Moms will be fine, I kept telling myself. The ultrasound tests were to check the arteries running along moms' neck. The technician told moms that everything looked good. I was thankful to hear that. However, on Saturday, moms will have a MRI brain scan done. That's going to be critical because that's where the hemorrhaging is located. I already know that any kind of major surgery will be very taxing for moms. Thus, I am praying that nothing is wrong. Yet, I know that any kind of internal bleeding is not a good sign. I could sense that moms was worried. All I could do was be there with moms during these trying times. And, I will do the same when moms goes in for the MRI.
The ultrasound tests took about 30 minutes. Moms and I were on our way back to Hawai'i Kai by 3:10pm. We arrived 20 minutes later. I did not stay long because moms was fatigued. Moms always take a nap after lunch, but she had to postpone the nap until we returned. Before leaving, I cautioned moms to call for the ambulance if there she experienced any more sharp head pains or the "dizzy head."
I drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) and parked my truck out on the side street. I chatted with Jay, one of the housemates, for a while. Then, I sat in my squalid and composed the "blog" on my notebook computer. At one point, I completely broke down and began sobbing. I was becoming extremely melancholy. So, I forced myself to make the trip to Kahala Mall. I wandered around the mall aimlessly as usual. However, the distractions of consumerism helped lift my spirits. I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, to no surprise. I purchased a cup of decaffeinated coffee as my treat for the evening. The hot coffee had a soothing effect.
I made the mistake of staying an hour longer. My choices are limited with the new bus schedule. The bus arrived 20 minutes late. By then, the rain had started coming down fiercely. I was perturbed, but there was little that could be done to alleviate the situation. Once back in Slob Manor, I settled into the same ol' shit. I just hope that moms is sleeping well tonight.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Stir Crazy Redux
Another downpour commenced late last night. The rain continued on until this morning. I debated about whether I should drive my truck to town. The rain miraculously cleared up at 8:45am. I decided to risk the ride to town on the bus. So, I departed at 9:15am.
On the way to town, the bus passed through areas of heavy rain. I began to regret my decision. However, once in town, I noticed that I had just missed the big rain. I followed my usual homeless guy itinerary with brunch courtesy Safeway®. I had a lot of time on my hands since I had left unusually early and the library was closed. I piddled around the catacombs of Kukui Plaza. Then, I walked to the gym at noon, eagerly anticipating the sight of the hottie gym trainer.
Sure enough, the hottie gym trainer was busy working with a gym member in the weight room. I saw baby immediately as I descended the steps into the "dungeon." Baby was looking hot. After I changed into my gym clothes, I headed straight to the triceps machine. The hottie gym trainer was now working with the same gym member just a few feet away. I could barely concentrate. A few minutes later, they moved to a different section of the gym. After I completed my short triceps workout, I sashayed over to the biceps machine. The hottie gym trainer was working with the same gym member a few feet behind me. A couple of minutes later, I noticed that baby was standing just inches away from me as she chatted with another gym member. I could sense baby's aura. I could see all of baby's firm centerfold-quality body. My hands were starting to shake. I had to grip the handles of the biceps machine to keep myself from losing control. Baby was standing there for almost five minutes. I nearly passed out because of a sudden testosterone surge.
During my cardio workout, I saw baby working with yet another gym member. Then, baby disappeared. On my way out, I saw baby working with yet another gym member. A busy day for baby. After I had exited the gym, I could not prevent intrusive thoughts about the hottie gym trainer for the rest of the day. Even with the incredible monastic conviction that I possess, I was too easily mesmerized by baby. Well, at least the weather had changed for the better by that time. The sun was shining, and there was no sign of rain.
The bus ride back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) was extremely annoying. The bus was crowded. The back section was filled with either Micronesians or Marshall Islanders and their kids. The kids and parents were both behaving badly. The fat ho' sitting next to me with her kids were extremely annoying. Then, the ho' opened her mouth to talk. Her breath was so bad, I almost passed out. I got up and found a seat in the front of the bus. Fortunately, I had to transfer to another bus in Kaimuki.
The weather was beautiful when I alighted at the bus stop across the street from Slob Manor at 3pm. I piddled around in my squalid room after chatting briefly with housemates Tobin and Pete. At 4:45pm, the rain came back with a vengeance. Once again, I was going stir crazy by 7pm. Off I went to Kahala Mall. Eventually, I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. The new bus schedule does not allow too much time flexibility, so I was back in Slob Manor before 9pm to enjoy more of the same ol' shit.
Moms had called and left a message early this morning. Moms wanted to know whether I could give her a ride tomorrow after noon to Queen's Hospital. I am now becoming even more concerned about moms' health. I assumed that moms would be going in for more tests. I pray that nothing serious will be found.
I happened to check my mail at the Post Office. I received a letter from the Association of Apartment Owners of the Aloha Surf Hotel. The maintenance fee is going up again, this time by 16 percent. That's another $25 per month over the $10 monthly hike last year. The dump is gradually draining me of my assets. However, I vowed that I will not return to wage slavery just to keep the dump. I will default on the mortgage first.
On the way to town, the bus passed through areas of heavy rain. I began to regret my decision. However, once in town, I noticed that I had just missed the big rain. I followed my usual homeless guy itinerary with brunch courtesy Safeway®. I had a lot of time on my hands since I had left unusually early and the library was closed. I piddled around the catacombs of Kukui Plaza. Then, I walked to the gym at noon, eagerly anticipating the sight of the hottie gym trainer.
Sure enough, the hottie gym trainer was busy working with a gym member in the weight room. I saw baby immediately as I descended the steps into the "dungeon." Baby was looking hot. After I changed into my gym clothes, I headed straight to the triceps machine. The hottie gym trainer was now working with the same gym member just a few feet away. I could barely concentrate. A few minutes later, they moved to a different section of the gym. After I completed my short triceps workout, I sashayed over to the biceps machine. The hottie gym trainer was working with the same gym member a few feet behind me. A couple of minutes later, I noticed that baby was standing just inches away from me as she chatted with another gym member. I could sense baby's aura. I could see all of baby's firm centerfold-quality body. My hands were starting to shake. I had to grip the handles of the biceps machine to keep myself from losing control. Baby was standing there for almost five minutes. I nearly passed out because of a sudden testosterone surge.
During my cardio workout, I saw baby working with yet another gym member. Then, baby disappeared. On my way out, I saw baby working with yet another gym member. A busy day for baby. After I had exited the gym, I could not prevent intrusive thoughts about the hottie gym trainer for the rest of the day. Even with the incredible monastic conviction that I possess, I was too easily mesmerized by baby. Well, at least the weather had changed for the better by that time. The sun was shining, and there was no sign of rain.
The bus ride back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) was extremely annoying. The bus was crowded. The back section was filled with either Micronesians or Marshall Islanders and their kids. The kids and parents were both behaving badly. The fat ho' sitting next to me with her kids were extremely annoying. Then, the ho' opened her mouth to talk. Her breath was so bad, I almost passed out. I got up and found a seat in the front of the bus. Fortunately, I had to transfer to another bus in Kaimuki.
The weather was beautiful when I alighted at the bus stop across the street from Slob Manor at 3pm. I piddled around in my squalid room after chatting briefly with housemates Tobin and Pete. At 4:45pm, the rain came back with a vengeance. Once again, I was going stir crazy by 7pm. Off I went to Kahala Mall. Eventually, I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. The new bus schedule does not allow too much time flexibility, so I was back in Slob Manor before 9pm to enjoy more of the same ol' shit.
Moms had called and left a message early this morning. Moms wanted to know whether I could give her a ride tomorrow after noon to Queen's Hospital. I am now becoming even more concerned about moms' health. I assumed that moms would be going in for more tests. I pray that nothing serious will be found.
I happened to check my mail at the Post Office. I received a letter from the Association of Apartment Owners of the Aloha Surf Hotel. The maintenance fee is going up again, this time by 16 percent. That's another $25 per month over the $10 monthly hike last year. The dump is gradually draining me of my assets. However, I vowed that I will not return to wage slavery just to keep the dump. I will default on the mortgage first.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Squandered Life
I was on my way to Hawai'i Kai by 7:20am this morning. I attempted to intercept moms at the bus stop and give her a ride to town. The sky looked ominous, and I did not want moms to have to deal with a sudden downpour. To my surprise, moms apparently rode an even earlier bus. I stopped off at Safeway® in Kuapa Kai to purchase a cup of coffee. The air-filled energy bars were sold out, so I settled for a blueberry muffin. I ran into Denny and his wife in the checkout line. They live with Denny's mother in moms' 'hood. After completing my brunch in the parking lot, I drove my Nissan® Frontier truck back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) and parked it hastily on the side street. I had passes a bus on its way to town.
Fortunately, I was expedient enough to make my way to the bus stop in time. Once I arrived in town, I stopped by Safeway® again to purchase another cup of coffee and one air-filled energy bar. I needed the second cup of coffee because I was groggy, I told myself. I noticed that the apparently unleavened energy bar was smaller in size than usual. Less air, I suppose.
I walked to the library to fulfill my homeless guy emulation quest. I did not see the old local homeless guy in Kamali'i Park. He most likely sought shelter because of the heavy rain last night. The walk through the Capitol district was refreshing. The air was pristine and crisp. I admired the banyan trees along the way. I situated myself at one of the tables along the periphery of the inner courtyard. The restrooms were bustling with activity, mostly because of the homeless crowd.
I continued to reflect upon the situation with moms. Although I have visited a number of possible scenarios for the immediate future, I can see that I am not fully prepared for most of them. In my mind, moms will be around forever and be relatively healthy. Yet, the latter is far from reality. Moms is now in the most vulnerable years of her life. Anything can happen, and the outcome will most likely not be good.
There are other issue at stake. In the case that something tragic occurs, how long will it take my bro to contact me, if at all? And, how much of the financial burden will he assume, if at all? I already know my own commitments in that respect.
I am further burdened by my inability to meet my own timeline. I must be free of all long-term obligations as soon as possible. The "condotel" unit remains as the sole anchor that is going to impede the progression of my goals. I have vowed to maintain a skeleton version of the status quo as long as moms is around. Beyond that, I expect to exit society immediately. I do not want residual ties or obligations to keep me trapped where I no longer want to be.
There are days that I come close to breaking down and sobbing because I not want the inevitable to come. Yet, the days of all eventualities will arrive. There are certain facts of life that are unavoidable. My life will change drastically from that point forward. I see moms growing older and more frail, just as I witnessed pops going through the same ordeal. I reflect upon the latter every day, and it does make me sad. My only consolation is that I was not so foolish so as to shirk my responsibility to honor my parents.
As for me, I am not expecting much more than I have now from my life. I will most likely continue to exist in mendicant obscurity. There really is not much for me to do or accomplish. What purpose would that serve? Perhaps my only remaining goal would be to try to recapture my lost innocence and live out my years rejoicing in the Creation.
I have come to realize that I have squandered most of my lifetime on trivial pursuits, be it education, wage slavery, money, babes, and so forth. All of it was meaningless. All I have are cheesy memories, if even that. I have fretted over the state of humanity as it affects the state of the world and ultimately the state of the planet. Why? Humanity is ruled by the sinister kahuna and is festered with its disciples, satanic gargoyles one and all. I have fought the good fight, but I will lose in the end. That is why the Good Book admonished, "Do not store up treasures in the world ..." The latter is fleeting and is totally meaningless in the face of mortality. There is absolutely no security in the secular world. The epidemic of the "seven sins" is so pervasive and so entrenched that nothing short of a Higher Power can put an end to it. We are discussing the force of evil, something well beyond what we call a "religious struggle." Evil is a force that can tear the universe apart were it not for a Higher Power. Prior to becoming a force, evil was simply the conceptualized negation of good works. Once its ideas were adopted, nurtured, and implemented, evil became a living force, not just a personification. That is why its power can continue to grow. When humans embrace evil, they may never muster up enough mortal strength to subdue it, no less escape its grip. Evil is synergistic. Thus, there is a point of no return. We have been given many tools to see beyond the subterfuge that evil operates under. Yet, few desire to do so. There is only one way out - turn the other way and never look back.
By 1pm, all that could be perceived as my life was flattened to two dimensions. I could see it all as if it were printed on a sheet of paper. There was no depth. Any semblance of perspective was feigned. How much more meaningless can my life get?
I spent about four hours total in the inner courtyard of the library. Where else did I need to be? Ah, yes, the gym. I did my usual cardio workout. I felt much better. I rode the bus back to Slob Manor. Today is the last day for the old bus route. After piddling around for a while, I began feeling stir crazy. Nothing new, eh? As usual, I headed out to Kahala Mall with my final destination being my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. I cruised around the store. The absence of the Asian hottie "bookseller" was sorely felt. At 9pm, I departed for Slob Manor on the bus. I spent the rest of the evening in my squalid room.
Incidentally, I neglected to mention that Shirley and my homey Rod in Cali called and left B-day greetings. Clyde in San Jose sent a Thanksgiving Day eCard. I was happy to hear from them.
My finances appear to be intact for now. Losses have been minimal. However, the expenses for last month will be paid later this month. I defer my expenses (usually appears in the "blog" by the 3rd of the month) for one month by using a credit card. The only true indicator will be the net worth summary for the year when it is finalized on January 31st.
"We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on the basis of six of the criteria that indicate sex addiction is present," was the stated result of my participation in the Sexual Addiction Screening Test. Of course, I already knew the verdict since the Vienna Sausage is still fully operational. No Cialis® required. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!
Fortunately, I was expedient enough to make my way to the bus stop in time. Once I arrived in town, I stopped by Safeway® again to purchase another cup of coffee and one air-filled energy bar. I needed the second cup of coffee because I was groggy, I told myself. I noticed that the apparently unleavened energy bar was smaller in size than usual. Less air, I suppose.
I walked to the library to fulfill my homeless guy emulation quest. I did not see the old local homeless guy in Kamali'i Park. He most likely sought shelter because of the heavy rain last night. The walk through the Capitol district was refreshing. The air was pristine and crisp. I admired the banyan trees along the way. I situated myself at one of the tables along the periphery of the inner courtyard. The restrooms were bustling with activity, mostly because of the homeless crowd.
I continued to reflect upon the situation with moms. Although I have visited a number of possible scenarios for the immediate future, I can see that I am not fully prepared for most of them. In my mind, moms will be around forever and be relatively healthy. Yet, the latter is far from reality. Moms is now in the most vulnerable years of her life. Anything can happen, and the outcome will most likely not be good.
There are other issue at stake. In the case that something tragic occurs, how long will it take my bro to contact me, if at all? And, how much of the financial burden will he assume, if at all? I already know my own commitments in that respect.
I am further burdened by my inability to meet my own timeline. I must be free of all long-term obligations as soon as possible. The "condotel" unit remains as the sole anchor that is going to impede the progression of my goals. I have vowed to maintain a skeleton version of the status quo as long as moms is around. Beyond that, I expect to exit society immediately. I do not want residual ties or obligations to keep me trapped where I no longer want to be.
There are days that I come close to breaking down and sobbing because I not want the inevitable to come. Yet, the days of all eventualities will arrive. There are certain facts of life that are unavoidable. My life will change drastically from that point forward. I see moms growing older and more frail, just as I witnessed pops going through the same ordeal. I reflect upon the latter every day, and it does make me sad. My only consolation is that I was not so foolish so as to shirk my responsibility to honor my parents.
As for me, I am not expecting much more than I have now from my life. I will most likely continue to exist in mendicant obscurity. There really is not much for me to do or accomplish. What purpose would that serve? Perhaps my only remaining goal would be to try to recapture my lost innocence and live out my years rejoicing in the Creation.
I have come to realize that I have squandered most of my lifetime on trivial pursuits, be it education, wage slavery, money, babes, and so forth. All of it was meaningless. All I have are cheesy memories, if even that. I have fretted over the state of humanity as it affects the state of the world and ultimately the state of the planet. Why? Humanity is ruled by the sinister kahuna and is festered with its disciples, satanic gargoyles one and all. I have fought the good fight, but I will lose in the end. That is why the Good Book admonished, "Do not store up treasures in the world ..." The latter is fleeting and is totally meaningless in the face of mortality. There is absolutely no security in the secular world. The epidemic of the "seven sins" is so pervasive and so entrenched that nothing short of a Higher Power can put an end to it. We are discussing the force of evil, something well beyond what we call a "religious struggle." Evil is a force that can tear the universe apart were it not for a Higher Power. Prior to becoming a force, evil was simply the conceptualized negation of good works. Once its ideas were adopted, nurtured, and implemented, evil became a living force, not just a personification. That is why its power can continue to grow. When humans embrace evil, they may never muster up enough mortal strength to subdue it, no less escape its grip. Evil is synergistic. Thus, there is a point of no return. We have been given many tools to see beyond the subterfuge that evil operates under. Yet, few desire to do so. There is only one way out - turn the other way and never look back.
By 1pm, all that could be perceived as my life was flattened to two dimensions. I could see it all as if it were printed on a sheet of paper. There was no depth. Any semblance of perspective was feigned. How much more meaningless can my life get?
I spent about four hours total in the inner courtyard of the library. Where else did I need to be? Ah, yes, the gym. I did my usual cardio workout. I felt much better. I rode the bus back to Slob Manor. Today is the last day for the old bus route. After piddling around for a while, I began feeling stir crazy. Nothing new, eh? As usual, I headed out to Kahala Mall with my final destination being my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. I cruised around the store. The absence of the Asian hottie "bookseller" was sorely felt. At 9pm, I departed for Slob Manor on the bus. I spent the rest of the evening in my squalid room.
Incidentally, I neglected to mention that Shirley and my homey Rod in Cali called and left B-day greetings. Clyde in San Jose sent a Thanksgiving Day eCard. I was happy to hear from them.
My finances appear to be intact for now. Losses have been minimal. However, the expenses for last month will be paid later this month. I defer my expenses (usually appears in the "blog" by the 3rd of the month) for one month by using a credit card. The only true indicator will be the net worth summary for the year when it is finalized on January 31st.
"We have compared your answers with people who have been diagnosed with sex addiction. Your answers HAVE MET a score on the basis of six of the criteria that indicate sex addiction is present," was the stated result of my participation in the Sexual Addiction Screening Test. Of course, I already knew the verdict since the Vienna Sausage is still fully operational. No Cialis® required. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!
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