I neglected to mention that I ran into Mike, the director of the office that oversees the faculty computer room at the Diploma Mill, and his "partner" Jerry at Longs® last night. I was cordial to both of them, although I had to no reason to be. Fortunately, there was not much to discuss. I hope to never run into any more Diploma Mill clowns again. My time in that urinal is over and done with.
Another homeless guy emulation kind-of-a-day has come and gone. We know the drill, don't we? After my Safeway® brunch, I spent about three hours in the library. I continued to read Bernard Weisberger's book, "Cold War, Cold Peace." Quite an interesting tome. I did my usual workout at the gym. As I was walking to the bus stop at Chinatown Gateway Plaza, I saw the hottie gym trainer. Baby was walking down the steps near the entrance to the plaza. Either baby parks her car there in the parking structure, or she lives in the building. Baby was looking so hot. I passed within inches of her. I almost suffered a stroke from the resultant testosterone surge. Baby looked through me as though I did not exist. After all, I am invisible to babes. Sheesh!
I made the jaunt to Kahala Mall this evening. No surprise. I spent every minute at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. The hottie Asian "bookseller" was on duty. Baby was looking so fine. I spent my time perusing book, magazines, and DVDs. For some reason, I became cognizant of how serious the satanic gargoyles went about their shopping. It is as if shopping is some kind of well-honed hunting skill. Quite amusing. Well, the time came for me to return to Slob Manor (read: rental housing). Oh, the horror! And, the rest of the evening? Same ol' shit, of course.
By the way, I discovered what is causing the half-second desktop blackout when I power up my Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer. The culprit is Windows® Sidebar. The blackout is similar to the effect caused by the tedious User Account Control, but without any dialog box appearing. And, the "blog" title is courtesy of the DI.FM House track by Ben Watt.
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
Cold War
Another homeless guy emulation kind-of-a-day has come and gone. Same ol' shit. Ho boy! I was groggy again for most of the day. I was surprised that I completed my gym workout. Perhaps the problem is that I am not eating enough. My daily caloric consumption is at 1,400 calories or less. I made the nightly jaunt to Kahala Mall. I foolishly purchased a small 180ml bottle of Sho Chiku Bai Sake from Longs®. I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, later. The Asian hottie "bookseller" was on duty. Baby was looking hot. I left at the usual time. I was glad to return to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) for once. The temperatures have been extremely chilly for Hawai'i. When I say "chilly," I mean cold as in Cold War. Too bad the Asian hottie "bookseller" doesn't want to come around, eh? Fortunately, I have my small bottle of Sho Chiku Bai Sake to warm me up. Sheesh!
Out of curiosity, I have been researching the Cold War at the library. I became interested in the topic after I read a few chapters from Eric Alterman's book titled, "When Presidents Lie: A History of Official Deception and Its Consequences." I was intrigued by the treatise on Franklin Roosevelt, which specifically dealt with the beginnings of the Cold War with Russia. Alterman asserted that Roosevelt had returned from the Yalta Conference and deceived the "American" public about the future of Poland. The Yalta Conference, as with its predecessor in Tehran a few months earlier, involved the "Big Three" (i.e., Russia, Britain, and the US). Stalin, Churchill, and Roosevelt were deciding the fate of Eastern Europe and Japan after the war. The latter plans included divvying up the spoils as well. The problem with the outcome, of course, was that Russia (considered an ally at the time) ended up occupying many of the smaller nations that were formerly controlled by the Nazis. For obvious reasons, Russia did not want to remove its forces from those particular nations. Poland was a sore point with the US because of the large number of Polish immigrants who had settled in the US. There was a general expectation that Roosevelt would pressure Russia to restore Poland to its original state (i.e., reinstate the Polish government that was in exile in London). However, Roosevelt was unable to secure such a promise from Russia. Roosevelt was, in fact, more concerned about establishing the now-defunct League of Nations. Alterman then focused on the subsequent deception involved. I became more curious about the Cold War itself. After all, the "history" that is taught to us from early on implicates the Russians. Stalin was an evil dictator who could not be trusted. The Russians were hellbent on the expansion of Communism and was a distinct threat to the US. The Russians must be "contained," we were told.
I perused another book titled, "Cold War, Cold Peace: The United States and Russia Since 1945," authored by Bernard Weisberger. Russia, as it turned out, remained true to the Yalta Conference. The US and Britain, however, gradually reneged. By that time, Truman had taken office. The focus eventually was cast upon Germany with the focal point being Berlin. Coincident with that time frame, the US had just perfected the first atomic bomb, of which Truman felt was of great hegemonic advantage. In fact, there is almost no question that the use of the atomic bomb against Japan was simply a demonstration of power for the benefit of the Russians. The war for Japanese was already a lost cause even before its attack on Pearl Harbor.
Hubris and obstinance, much like Pharaoh of Egypt in the time of Moses, eventually overcame Truman. All further negotiations with the Russians were ended. The Russians absorbed the satellite nations and formed the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR). Truman was convinced that the threat of nuclear WMDs would "contain" Russia. Instead, much to his surprise four years later, a US reconnaissance plane detected a nuclear explosion in Siberia. The arms race was on. Clearly, the US had every opportunity to avoid the Cold War. What would the world have been like today had the Truman been more pragmatic with the Russians?
Out of curiosity, I have been researching the Cold War at the library. I became interested in the topic after I read a few chapters from Eric Alterman's book titled, "When Presidents Lie: A History of Official Deception and Its Consequences." I was intrigued by the treatise on Franklin Roosevelt, which specifically dealt with the beginnings of the Cold War with Russia. Alterman asserted that Roosevelt had returned from the Yalta Conference and deceived the "American" public about the future of Poland. The Yalta Conference, as with its predecessor in Tehran a few months earlier, involved the "Big Three" (i.e., Russia, Britain, and the US). Stalin, Churchill, and Roosevelt were deciding the fate of Eastern Europe and Japan after the war. The latter plans included divvying up the spoils as well. The problem with the outcome, of course, was that Russia (considered an ally at the time) ended up occupying many of the smaller nations that were formerly controlled by the Nazis. For obvious reasons, Russia did not want to remove its forces from those particular nations. Poland was a sore point with the US because of the large number of Polish immigrants who had settled in the US. There was a general expectation that Roosevelt would pressure Russia to restore Poland to its original state (i.e., reinstate the Polish government that was in exile in London). However, Roosevelt was unable to secure such a promise from Russia. Roosevelt was, in fact, more concerned about establishing the now-defunct League of Nations. Alterman then focused on the subsequent deception involved. I became more curious about the Cold War itself. After all, the "history" that is taught to us from early on implicates the Russians. Stalin was an evil dictator who could not be trusted. The Russians were hellbent on the expansion of Communism and was a distinct threat to the US. The Russians must be "contained," we were told.
I perused another book titled, "Cold War, Cold Peace: The United States and Russia Since 1945," authored by Bernard Weisberger. Russia, as it turned out, remained true to the Yalta Conference. The US and Britain, however, gradually reneged. By that time, Truman had taken office. The focus eventually was cast upon Germany with the focal point being Berlin. Coincident with that time frame, the US had just perfected the first atomic bomb, of which Truman felt was of great hegemonic advantage. In fact, there is almost no question that the use of the atomic bomb against Japan was simply a demonstration of power for the benefit of the Russians. The war for Japanese was already a lost cause even before its attack on Pearl Harbor.
Hubris and obstinance, much like Pharaoh of Egypt in the time of Moses, eventually overcame Truman. All further negotiations with the Russians were ended. The Russians absorbed the satellite nations and formed the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR). Truman was convinced that the threat of nuclear WMDs would "contain" Russia. Instead, much to his surprise four years later, a US reconnaissance plane detected a nuclear explosion in Siberia. The arms race was on. Clearly, the US had every opportunity to avoid the Cold War. What would the world have been like today had the Truman been more pragmatic with the Russians?
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Galavanting
"The Senate gave President [Shrub] a big win on Iraq Tuesday night as it passed a massive $555 billion spending bill combining funding for 14 Cabinet departments with $70 billion for U.S. military operations there and in Afghanistan," reported the Associated Press. Where's the outrage? Clearly, the latter is proof that the government is being controlled by another entity. Can you say, "moneychangers and powers-that-be"? In the meantime, the dollar is making a surprise comeback. The Japanese yen is deliberately weakening. Oil and gold prices are falling like rocks. The status quo (and the yen carry trade) is returning with a vengeance!
Another homeless guy emulation kind-of-a-day has come and gone. We all know the drill. I was completely groggy from my useless excursion last night. Not even a large cup of Seattle's Best® coffee from Safeway® could help me. I was still sluggish when I went through my gym workout in the mid-afternoon. Well, at least the ride on the Route 1L bus this afternoon was relaxing for once.
Back in my squalid room at Slob Manor (read: rental housing), I installed the optional update for the pathetic Intel® 945 Express Chipset video driver. Now, I have the idiotic half-second screen blackout on start-up again. I solved that particular problem before by removing an offending tray application. Now, I have no idea what is causing the problem. Is there no end to the cheesiness that I must contend with?
Another homeless guy emulation kind-of-a-day has come and gone. We all know the drill. I was completely groggy from my useless excursion last night. Not even a large cup of Seattle's Best® coffee from Safeway® could help me. I was still sluggish when I went through my gym workout in the mid-afternoon. Well, at least the ride on the Route 1L bus this afternoon was relaxing for once.
Back in my squalid room at Slob Manor (read: rental housing), I installed the optional update for the pathetic Intel® 945 Express Chipset video driver. Now, I have the idiotic half-second screen blackout on start-up again. I solved that particular problem before by removing an offending tray application. Now, I have no idea what is causing the problem. Is there no end to the cheesiness that I must contend with?
Thus, when I made the jaunt to Kahala Mall this evening, I stopped by the Apple® Store. Yes, the very store that I was treated horribly a while back. In all honesty, I dropped my vow (i.e., to never set foot in an Apple® Store again) a couple of weeks ago. There is no computer as elegant as an Apple® computer. I wandered around the store and perused all of the computers that I can no longer afford. Wendy, one of the Mac Specialists (and a cute babe), approached me. She had seen me in the store on several occasions, she said. We ended up chatting for about 15 minutes. Well, at least I was not asked to leave the premises by the moronic security guard. Sheesh!
My last stop was my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. I wandered around the store, but mostly perused books in the "Current Affairs" section. Sadly, I had to return to Slob Manor. I locked myself in my squalid room and piddled around on my now-despicable Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer. I listened to DI.FM Deep House on Net radio for the rest of the evening. Same ol' shit. Today's title is taken from the House Music track by Community Housin'.
My last stop was my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. I wandered around the store, but mostly perused books in the "Current Affairs" section. Sadly, I had to return to Slob Manor. I locked myself in my squalid room and piddled around on my now-despicable Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer. I listened to DI.FM Deep House on Net radio for the rest of the evening. Same ol' shit. Today's title is taken from the House Music track by Community Housin'.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Wild Goose Chase
I departed for Hawai'i Kai at 8:30am, even though I was extremely groggy. I stopped at Safeway® in Kuapa Kai to purchase a large cup of coffee. In the process of removing the cup from the pathetic tray, I spilled half of the scalding hot coffee on my hand. I found myself wide awake at that point. Moms was home when I arrived. So was my nephew. Fortunately, there were only a few minutes of time before we left for Kahala Mall. Moms did some shopping at Longs®. We ate lunch at Panda Express®. On the way back to Hawai'i Kai, we stopped at Foodland in Koko Marina so moms could purchase much needed groceries. Later, moms served up coffee ice cream for dessert. I walked down to the gym in Koko Marina at 1pm. I did my usual workout. I chatted with moms briefly after I walked back.
I drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) at 3:30pm. Once back in my squalid room, I decided to perform the dreaded laundry chores a day early. Tobin, one of the housemates, was home. I chatted with him for a few minutes. There still seems to be all kinds of confusion concerning our alleged eviction. I piddled around in my squalid room until 6pm. Leading up to that time, I had made the tentative decision to embark on an excursion to purchase a memory card for my Toshiba® Satellite computer. I had seen an Office Depot® sale flyer that touted what I was looking for. So, off I went on the bus.
I rode the Route 23 to Ala Moana Center. I had to use the restroom badly, so I had to walk to the Makai Mall restrooms. That cost me five minutes. However, I was able to board a Route 6 bus that put me right at the Ward Center. I trudged to Office Depot®. The place was huge, but there were few people inside the store. there were even fewer employees. When I inquired about the memory card, I was told that it was sold out. Sold out? The damned sale just started yesterday. How many were in stock? Two? I spent a total of five minutes maximum in the store. The time was already 7:15pm. What a joke!
I sashayed briskly to the nearest bus stop. My only choice was to ride any bus to town. Fortunately, a Route 65 bus arrived shortly. I disembarked in town. Within minutes a Route 1 bus arrived. I boarded with the intention to alight at Kahala Mall. However, as the bus was approaching the mall, I changed my mind. Why bother? I would have had only 20 minutes of time before my usual bus arrived. So, I was back in Slob Manor at 8:10pm after an evening wasted on a "wild goose chase." Thankfully, I have postponed the purchase of the memory card indefinitely. The omen was given to me, and I accept it.
Aside from that, I watch incredulously as see the zombies going about their business without a care in the world. "It's just another day in the neighborhood. Would you be my ... would you be my ... neighbor? (sing-along with Mr. Rogers).
I drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) at 3:30pm. Once back in my squalid room, I decided to perform the dreaded laundry chores a day early. Tobin, one of the housemates, was home. I chatted with him for a few minutes. There still seems to be all kinds of confusion concerning our alleged eviction. I piddled around in my squalid room until 6pm. Leading up to that time, I had made the tentative decision to embark on an excursion to purchase a memory card for my Toshiba® Satellite computer. I had seen an Office Depot® sale flyer that touted what I was looking for. So, off I went on the bus.
I rode the Route 23 to Ala Moana Center. I had to use the restroom badly, so I had to walk to the Makai Mall restrooms. That cost me five minutes. However, I was able to board a Route 6 bus that put me right at the Ward Center. I trudged to Office Depot®. The place was huge, but there were few people inside the store. there were even fewer employees. When I inquired about the memory card, I was told that it was sold out. Sold out? The damned sale just started yesterday. How many were in stock? Two? I spent a total of five minutes maximum in the store. The time was already 7:15pm. What a joke!
I sashayed briskly to the nearest bus stop. My only choice was to ride any bus to town. Fortunately, a Route 65 bus arrived shortly. I disembarked in town. Within minutes a Route 1 bus arrived. I boarded with the intention to alight at Kahala Mall. However, as the bus was approaching the mall, I changed my mind. Why bother? I would have had only 20 minutes of time before my usual bus arrived. So, I was back in Slob Manor at 8:10pm after an evening wasted on a "wild goose chase." Thankfully, I have postponed the purchase of the memory card indefinitely. The omen was given to me, and I accept it.
Aside from that, I watch incredulously as see the zombies going about their business without a care in the world. "It's just another day in the neighborhood. Would you be my ... would you be my ... neighbor? (sing-along with Mr. Rogers).
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Limbo Redux
Another homeless guy emulation kind-of-a-day has come and gone. We all know the drill. The sad part is that the hottie gym trainer was not at the gym today, most likely because the air-conditioning system and water were off for maintenance all morning. Seeing baby is the only highlight of the day. I was in a foul mood upon exiting the gym. The bus ride back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) almost provoked me to go on a homicidal rampage. The continuation of the recent rainy weather did not help.
Once back in Slob Manor, I chatted with Tobin for a few minutes. He said that the landlord has had a change of heart. So, the guys on the first floor will be able to stay longer, whatever that means. I laughed. The whole situation is farcical, and I have no time or patience to deal with trivial nonsense. I piddled around in my squalid room. Dinner consisted of the usual fare, beans and bread. The intermittent showers persisted through the evening, but I ventured out into the wet night anyway. I ended up at Kahala Mall, my last stop being Barnes & Noble®. I have been perusing, on and off, a book titled, "The Squandering of America: How the Failure of Our Politics Undermines Our Prosperity," by Robert Kuttner, one of the founders of The American Prospect. It's a another book worthy of addition to my library, but I probably will not purchase it quite yet. I was back in my squalid room by 9pm. Same ol' shit? You bet!
Aside from breaking the caffeine habit, I will have to work on a much bigger issue. I must become more compassionate toward humanity, even though I have no desire to befriend or acquaint myself with its members. I have demonized most of humanity as kabuki-masked satanic gargoyles. Obviously, the "demonization" of any entity facilitates easy disassociation. However, I have gone one step further. I have come to despise humanity. In fact, my attitude now has usurped any chance at humility. I have become haughty, righteous in my own eyes. I have taken the inconsideration and insensitivity of the satanic gargoyles and transformed their energy into my active disdain for them. I have become one of them. I have to learn to ignore them and pretend that they are invisible when they infringe upon my being. After all, I am invisible to them. I am nobody.
So, what else is percolating in the oversized cranium? The ol' lavahead wants to add another gigabyte of RAM to his Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer. Why? It's plenty fast now. There are no processor-intensive applications installed. He must also take his Nissan® Frontier truck in for service (i.e., oil change, tire rotation). Why doesn't he do it himself just as he did with all of his other vehicles? All that money will be flowing out and the fool has no health insurance and no dental plan. His teeth are giving him trouble. Yet, he is checking out the Coast-to-Coast Memory site. By the way, that's where he purchased additional memory for his old Apple® iBook.
Alas, my life in limbo is really a one-way street. There may be a misconception that turning back is still an option. I'm afraid not. I could not return to a life of debauchery or quasi-debauchery because I know better. Once the wiles of the "system" are understood, there is no way to become ignorant again. I no longer can play the "game" or be an unwitting participant because I have been enlightened. Indeed, knowledge is power. I have only one path to follow now, that is, the exodus. The obstacles that I have mentioned prior will only impede my progress, but nothing can stop the exodus. Anyone following the same path should be made aware that there is no turning back. Do not attempt to exit society unless a true commitment is there. Attempting to turn back in midstream will cause extreme duress. There is no way to turn back.
Once back in Slob Manor, I chatted with Tobin for a few minutes. He said that the landlord has had a change of heart. So, the guys on the first floor will be able to stay longer, whatever that means. I laughed. The whole situation is farcical, and I have no time or patience to deal with trivial nonsense. I piddled around in my squalid room. Dinner consisted of the usual fare, beans and bread. The intermittent showers persisted through the evening, but I ventured out into the wet night anyway. I ended up at Kahala Mall, my last stop being Barnes & Noble®. I have been perusing, on and off, a book titled, "The Squandering of America: How the Failure of Our Politics Undermines Our Prosperity," by Robert Kuttner, one of the founders of The American Prospect. It's a another book worthy of addition to my library, but I probably will not purchase it quite yet. I was back in my squalid room by 9pm. Same ol' shit? You bet!
Aside from breaking the caffeine habit, I will have to work on a much bigger issue. I must become more compassionate toward humanity, even though I have no desire to befriend or acquaint myself with its members. I have demonized most of humanity as kabuki-masked satanic gargoyles. Obviously, the "demonization" of any entity facilitates easy disassociation. However, I have gone one step further. I have come to despise humanity. In fact, my attitude now has usurped any chance at humility. I have become haughty, righteous in my own eyes. I have taken the inconsideration and insensitivity of the satanic gargoyles and transformed their energy into my active disdain for them. I have become one of them. I have to learn to ignore them and pretend that they are invisible when they infringe upon my being. After all, I am invisible to them. I am nobody.
So, what else is percolating in the oversized cranium? The ol' lavahead wants to add another gigabyte of RAM to his Toshiba® Satellite notebook computer. Why? It's plenty fast now. There are no processor-intensive applications installed. He must also take his Nissan® Frontier truck in for service (i.e., oil change, tire rotation). Why doesn't he do it himself just as he did with all of his other vehicles? All that money will be flowing out and the fool has no health insurance and no dental plan. His teeth are giving him trouble. Yet, he is checking out the Coast-to-Coast Memory site. By the way, that's where he purchased additional memory for his old Apple® iBook.
Alas, my life in limbo is really a one-way street. There may be a misconception that turning back is still an option. I'm afraid not. I could not return to a life of debauchery or quasi-debauchery because I know better. Once the wiles of the "system" are understood, there is no way to become ignorant again. I no longer can play the "game" or be an unwitting participant because I have been enlightened. Indeed, knowledge is power. I have only one path to follow now, that is, the exodus. The obstacles that I have mentioned prior will only impede my progress, but nothing can stop the exodus. Anyone following the same path should be made aware that there is no turning back. Do not attempt to exit society unless a true commitment is there. Attempting to turn back in midstream will cause extreme duress. There is no way to turn back.
Saturday, December 15, 2007
How I Came to be Nobody
Well, I am back to the homeless guy emulation in full force. Even though I barely slept last night, thanks to the jam session, I was on my way to town on the bus at 9:15am. Brunch (read: coffee and air-filled energy bars), again was courtesy Safeway®, with dining facilities (read: concrete bench) provided by Kukui Plaza. I spent several hours in the inner courtyard of the library. Intermittent rain showers pretty much precluded much else. I walked to the gym at 2pm to do my usual cardio workout. I was on my way back to Slob Manor (read: renatl housing) at 3:15pm.
When I arrived at Slob Manor, I was privy to another jam session, courtesy Tobin and a few of his idiotic homeys. My guess is that the jam sessions are being used to provoke a confrontation with the landlord. When one is both young and stupid, there is just no limit to the spectrum of moronic behavior displayed. For the most part, stupidity of that kind falls into the genre of the great "American" life-style. Little wonder why the nation has degenerated to the point of social collapse. There are no prevailing values except for narcissism. And, narcissism feeds consumerism quite well. With each passing day, I find that I can tolerate "American" society less and less. In general, all of humanity either needs to be humbled or destroyed.
I piddled around until 7:15pm. The place was actually quiet as the "musicians" took a long break, most likely going somewhere to get something to eat. With so much creative juices flowing, the "musicians" were, no doubt, famished. I decided to make the jaunt to Kahala Mall since the rain had stopped hours ago. However, a downpour ensued wile I stood at the bus stop. Had the bus been on time instead of 15 minutes late, I would not have been completely drenched. My poor umbrella was completely useless, what with the gale force winds and all.
At Kahala Mall, I spent the time meandering around. I purchased a big-ass container of psyillium at Longs® first. I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, whereupon I observed the Asian hottie "bookseller" traipsing about. Baby was looking mighty fine. I purchased a cup of coffee in the café to warm up. I have no idea how I am going to kick the caffeine habit. I stayed at the bookstore until 9:30pm, an hour longer than usual. Every now and then, I caught a glimpse of the Asian hottie "bookseller." Oh baby! The rest of the evening was the same ol' shit. Naturally, I had to return to my squalid room in Slob Manor.
I have had ample time to reflect on the past week - a close call for moms, and an averted detour of my own life. Had the news been bad rather than good, there would have been many ramifications ... too numerous to ruminate upon. I am extremely happy that moms is doing fine. I, myself, have been given a reprieve. Therefore, I have bought a little more time to settle my own affairs. There is not much left of my life. My family only consists of moms. My bro and his family have long ago disassociated from me because of family estate issues. I have disassociated from friends and acquaintances, doing absolutely nothing to maintain ties, mainly because I see no purpose. What exactly holds humanity together these days? Certainly nothing of value. I find that I have to deal with treachery and chicanery far too often. I am better off being alone. Hence, I am now a nobody. Mister Nobody.
I am no longer certain about if and when I will return to wage slavery. I am having difficulty visualizing myself back in the workforce as a "team player." There is too much incongruence between the world and myself. I have no idea how I am going to survive. Then, there is the now-defunct babe situation. Although I am still distracted by babes, most notably the hottie gym trainer and the Asian hottie "bookseller," I am keenly aware that I will remain both single and celibate for the rest of my short life. There are no other options.
Currently, I am in limbo, not quite achieving my goal to exit society because I am still too entrenched with idiotic obligations of my own doing. I am attempting to plan for my future, with my most pressing concern being the time when moms is gone. I must have all of my worldly ties and obligations severed or terminated by then. I have no idea where I will be or what my mental state will be at that time. However, I will no longer have one iota of interest in maintaining anything resembling my present life-style. I will be an even lesser nobody, which is good.
When I arrived at Slob Manor, I was privy to another jam session, courtesy Tobin and a few of his idiotic homeys. My guess is that the jam sessions are being used to provoke a confrontation with the landlord. When one is both young and stupid, there is just no limit to the spectrum of moronic behavior displayed. For the most part, stupidity of that kind falls into the genre of the great "American" life-style. Little wonder why the nation has degenerated to the point of social collapse. There are no prevailing values except for narcissism. And, narcissism feeds consumerism quite well. With each passing day, I find that I can tolerate "American" society less and less. In general, all of humanity either needs to be humbled or destroyed.
I piddled around until 7:15pm. The place was actually quiet as the "musicians" took a long break, most likely going somewhere to get something to eat. With so much creative juices flowing, the "musicians" were, no doubt, famished. I decided to make the jaunt to Kahala Mall since the rain had stopped hours ago. However, a downpour ensued wile I stood at the bus stop. Had the bus been on time instead of 15 minutes late, I would not have been completely drenched. My poor umbrella was completely useless, what with the gale force winds and all.
At Kahala Mall, I spent the time meandering around. I purchased a big-ass container of psyillium at Longs® first. I ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, whereupon I observed the Asian hottie "bookseller" traipsing about. Baby was looking mighty fine. I purchased a cup of coffee in the café to warm up. I have no idea how I am going to kick the caffeine habit. I stayed at the bookstore until 9:30pm, an hour longer than usual. Every now and then, I caught a glimpse of the Asian hottie "bookseller." Oh baby! The rest of the evening was the same ol' shit. Naturally, I had to return to my squalid room in Slob Manor.
I have had ample time to reflect on the past week - a close call for moms, and an averted detour of my own life. Had the news been bad rather than good, there would have been many ramifications ... too numerous to ruminate upon. I am extremely happy that moms is doing fine. I, myself, have been given a reprieve. Therefore, I have bought a little more time to settle my own affairs. There is not much left of my life. My family only consists of moms. My bro and his family have long ago disassociated from me because of family estate issues. I have disassociated from friends and acquaintances, doing absolutely nothing to maintain ties, mainly because I see no purpose. What exactly holds humanity together these days? Certainly nothing of value. I find that I have to deal with treachery and chicanery far too often. I am better off being alone. Hence, I am now a nobody. Mister Nobody.
I am no longer certain about if and when I will return to wage slavery. I am having difficulty visualizing myself back in the workforce as a "team player." There is too much incongruence between the world and myself. I have no idea how I am going to survive. Then, there is the now-defunct babe situation. Although I am still distracted by babes, most notably the hottie gym trainer and the Asian hottie "bookseller," I am keenly aware that I will remain both single and celibate for the rest of my short life. There are no other options.
Currently, I am in limbo, not quite achieving my goal to exit society because I am still too entrenched with idiotic obligations of my own doing. I am attempting to plan for my future, with my most pressing concern being the time when moms is gone. I must have all of my worldly ties and obligations severed or terminated by then. I have no idea where I will be or what my mental state will be at that time. However, I will no longer have one iota of interest in maintaining anything resembling my present life-style. I will be an even lesser nobody, which is good.
Friday, December 14, 2007
Good News
I departed for Hawai'i Kai at 8:30am, stopping at Safeway® in Kuapa Kai to purchase a cup of coffee and one air-filled energy bar. Moms was home when I arrived. The weather was not too good, with intermittent burst of heavy rain. I chatted with moms until 11am, when we left for town. Moms' appointment with her doctor was at 11:45am. We arrived just in time. The doctor's office, however, was full of patients waiting. Finally, after about 30 minutes, moms' name was called. This was the day that moms would learn the results of the ultrasound and MRI lab tests. About 15 minutes later, moms came out to collect me. I went into the examination room and met moms' doctor. The moment of truth.
Much to my relief, the news was good. The MRI and ultrasound lab tests did not reveal any kind of brain hemorrhaging. "You won't need neurosurgery or anything like that," he told moms. The doctor went on to describe the results, noting most of the common old age symptoms (i.e, some hardening of the arteries, brain atrophy, white-matter loss, and so forth). Thus, the bleeding appears to be eye-related. The ordeal is not over yet. Moms will now have to consult with her opthamologist to see what procedures will be necessary. Moms and I thanked the doctor for the good news.
We drove to Ala Moana Center after the appointment. The place was completely packed. Moms wanted to eat at Patty's Chinese Kitchen in the Makai Mall. So, that's what we did. After lunch, moms wanted to do a little shopping at Longs® and Foodland®. After all was said and done, the time was already 2:30pm. Moms was fatigued. We drove back to Hawai'i Kai. Moms served up coffee ice cream for dessert. I chatted with moms for a couple of minutes. Then, I drove to Koko Marina. I parked my truck in the parking structure and walked to the gym at the other end of the shopping center. I did my usual workout.
I was back in my squalid room in Slob Manor (read: rental housing) at 5:45pm. Sushant, the Indian guy, chatted with me for a few minutes. He said that Tobin and Jay, the housemates on the first floor, have been given 45-day notices by the landlord to vacate. Sushant did not receive any notice. He is planning to move anyway, out of principle, he said. Pete was already moving out as he is planning to join the Coast Guard. As for me, I have no idea what is going on. I have not heard anything from the landlord.
A sudden downpour almost prevented me from making the jaunt to Kahala Mall this evening. The rain stopped miraculously just a few minutes before the bus was due to arrive. I meandered around the mall and ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. I felt more at ease tonight, most likely because of the good news concerning moms. I had not slept well in days. I was so preoccupied that I could barely think or function. In fact, I was on the verge of mentally shutting down.
The two housemates, Pete and Tobin, were having a drums and electric bass jam session on the second floor of Slob Manor when I returned. The instruments have been upstairs since the night of the big party. I simply closed the door behind me when I stepped into my squalid room. There was a lot of door slammin' and incoherent music being played. My guess is that the clowns are trying to taunt me because they still believe that I have been informing the landlord about their activities. Frankly, I could care less (read: I could give a shit). I have had too many other concerns on my mind. I do not need to trouble myself with adolescent stupidity.
Much to my relief, the news was good. The MRI and ultrasound lab tests did not reveal any kind of brain hemorrhaging. "You won't need neurosurgery or anything like that," he told moms. The doctor went on to describe the results, noting most of the common old age symptoms (i.e, some hardening of the arteries, brain atrophy, white-matter loss, and so forth). Thus, the bleeding appears to be eye-related. The ordeal is not over yet. Moms will now have to consult with her opthamologist to see what procedures will be necessary. Moms and I thanked the doctor for the good news.
We drove to Ala Moana Center after the appointment. The place was completely packed. Moms wanted to eat at Patty's Chinese Kitchen in the Makai Mall. So, that's what we did. After lunch, moms wanted to do a little shopping at Longs® and Foodland®. After all was said and done, the time was already 2:30pm. Moms was fatigued. We drove back to Hawai'i Kai. Moms served up coffee ice cream for dessert. I chatted with moms for a couple of minutes. Then, I drove to Koko Marina. I parked my truck in the parking structure and walked to the gym at the other end of the shopping center. I did my usual workout.
I was back in my squalid room in Slob Manor (read: rental housing) at 5:45pm. Sushant, the Indian guy, chatted with me for a few minutes. He said that Tobin and Jay, the housemates on the first floor, have been given 45-day notices by the landlord to vacate. Sushant did not receive any notice. He is planning to move anyway, out of principle, he said. Pete was already moving out as he is planning to join the Coast Guard. As for me, I have no idea what is going on. I have not heard anything from the landlord.
A sudden downpour almost prevented me from making the jaunt to Kahala Mall this evening. The rain stopped miraculously just a few minutes before the bus was due to arrive. I meandered around the mall and ended up at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. I felt more at ease tonight, most likely because of the good news concerning moms. I had not slept well in days. I was so preoccupied that I could barely think or function. In fact, I was on the verge of mentally shutting down.
The two housemates, Pete and Tobin, were having a drums and electric bass jam session on the second floor of Slob Manor when I returned. The instruments have been upstairs since the night of the big party. I simply closed the door behind me when I stepped into my squalid room. There was a lot of door slammin' and incoherent music being played. My guess is that the clowns are trying to taunt me because they still believe that I have been informing the landlord about their activities. Frankly, I could care less (read: I could give a shit). I have had too many other concerns on my mind. I do not need to trouble myself with adolescent stupidity.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Cruisin'
One can only guess that are no surprises during the course of another homeless guy emulation kind-of-a-day. And, one would be correct. I departed for for town on the Route 1L bus with another driver who apparently was not acquainted with route. I had to disembark at an earlier than expected stop. Fortunately, there was another Route 1L bus right behind the one that I was riding. Now that I think about it, one of the bus was not on schedule. I believe that the bus that I was originally riding was 30 minutes late.
Brunch was courtesy Safeway®, with spartan dining facilities (read: concrete bench) courtesy the catacombs of Kukui Plaza. On the way to the library, I observed the old local homeless guy sitting on the dividing wall in Kamali'i Park. He asked me for a cigarette again. I continued walking through the Capitol district and the grove of banyan trees. Once at the library, I performed the usual homeless guy rituals (i.e., using the restroom, brushing my teeth). Then, I sat along the periphery of the inner courtyard. I sat motionless for over an hour. Essentially, I contemplated the same issues that I chronicle in the "blog."
At 1pm, I dropped my gym bag off at the gym. I then restored my monk haircut at the Institute of Hair Design. By 2pm, I was back in the gym to complete my usual workout. I was able to board a Route 1L bus almost immediately afterward. However, why do I need expedited transportation? I am only returning to Slob Manor (read: rental housing), certainly not a place that I dare call "home." Yet, that's exactly where I found myself at 4:45pm. I piddled around for a while. I ate my staple of beans and bread for dinner. A sudden downpour commenced at 6pm. I made mental preparations to spend the entire evening in my squalid room. However, the rain let up just before my usual departure time for my evening jaunt to Kahala Mall. Thus, I was on my way.
The rain started up again when I alighted the bus. I stood under the hideous freeway structure that runs above Wai'ala'e Avenue. When the rain finally bated, I walked to the mall. The place was packed with satanic gargoyles engaged in a furious bout of Saturnalia shopping. It was a pathetic sight. I looked around until I was too sickened to tolerate any more frivolous consumerism. I sought refuge at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. The Asian hottie "bookseller" was on duty. Oh man, baby was wearing a dress and looking just too hot. My mind started playing tricks on me. Immediately, I headed to the café and purchased a cup of decaffeinated coffee. Did the coffee distract me from baby's presence? No, but it tasted good. I departed at the usual time. I was back in my squalid room in Slob Manor before 9pm, safe and sound.
My only thoughts for the day were wrapped in massive confusion. I am simply confused about the life that I lead ... or, we lead ... and what exactly the latter should amount to. The nation has been engaged in two illegal wars for five years now. The banking system is on the verge of collapse, yet the only solution is to keep inflating debt bubbles. Our lifestyles are convoluted meaningless messes. We have so much, but it all amounts to nothing. The moneychangers and powers-that-be are robbing us blind, and we welcome them. "Here, rob us some more," we tell them in glee. And, all most of us have to show for anything are a bunch of useless depreciating possessions and hours clocked in front of the tube. I don't get it. Do you?
Brunch was courtesy Safeway®, with spartan dining facilities (read: concrete bench) courtesy the catacombs of Kukui Plaza. On the way to the library, I observed the old local homeless guy sitting on the dividing wall in Kamali'i Park. He asked me for a cigarette again. I continued walking through the Capitol district and the grove of banyan trees. Once at the library, I performed the usual homeless guy rituals (i.e., using the restroom, brushing my teeth). Then, I sat along the periphery of the inner courtyard. I sat motionless for over an hour. Essentially, I contemplated the same issues that I chronicle in the "blog."
At 1pm, I dropped my gym bag off at the gym. I then restored my monk haircut at the Institute of Hair Design. By 2pm, I was back in the gym to complete my usual workout. I was able to board a Route 1L bus almost immediately afterward. However, why do I need expedited transportation? I am only returning to Slob Manor (read: rental housing), certainly not a place that I dare call "home." Yet, that's exactly where I found myself at 4:45pm. I piddled around for a while. I ate my staple of beans and bread for dinner. A sudden downpour commenced at 6pm. I made mental preparations to spend the entire evening in my squalid room. However, the rain let up just before my usual departure time for my evening jaunt to Kahala Mall. Thus, I was on my way.
The rain started up again when I alighted the bus. I stood under the hideous freeway structure that runs above Wai'ala'e Avenue. When the rain finally bated, I walked to the mall. The place was packed with satanic gargoyles engaged in a furious bout of Saturnalia shopping. It was a pathetic sight. I looked around until I was too sickened to tolerate any more frivolous consumerism. I sought refuge at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. The Asian hottie "bookseller" was on duty. Oh man, baby was wearing a dress and looking just too hot. My mind started playing tricks on me. Immediately, I headed to the café and purchased a cup of decaffeinated coffee. Did the coffee distract me from baby's presence? No, but it tasted good. I departed at the usual time. I was back in my squalid room in Slob Manor before 9pm, safe and sound.
My only thoughts for the day were wrapped in massive confusion. I am simply confused about the life that I lead ... or, we lead ... and what exactly the latter should amount to. The nation has been engaged in two illegal wars for five years now. The banking system is on the verge of collapse, yet the only solution is to keep inflating debt bubbles. Our lifestyles are convoluted meaningless messes. We have so much, but it all amounts to nothing. The moneychangers and powers-that-be are robbing us blind, and we welcome them. "Here, rob us some more," we tell them in glee. And, all most of us have to show for anything are a bunch of useless depreciating possessions and hours clocked in front of the tube. I don't get it. Do you?
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Roses on the Wall
"I tell the evil Bush, leave our land, we do not need you or your armies ... I tell the occupiers ... you have your democracy and we have our Islam; get out of our land." -- Moqtada al-SadrAlmost a carbon copy of yesterday, my day began with a drive out to Hawai'i Kai at 9pm with a brief stop at Safeway® in Kuapa Kai to purchase one air-filled energy bar and a cup of Seattle's Best® Colombian coffee. Moms was home when I arrived. Moms was waiting for the Sears® appliance repair technician to arrive. The washing machine has been out of service since Monday. I chatted with moms for a bit. Then, moms attended to a few chores. I put another hour of time in with my pumice stone. Gradually, I am wearing down the scale-like surface on the soles of my feet.
At noon, the service technician called to confirm an arrival time. When the service technician finally arrived, I drove down to Zippy's in Koko Marina to purchase a couple of spaghetti plate lunches. When I returned in a few minutes with the plate lunches, the service technician was just leaving. A cheap plastic part was the culprit, but the repair cost was $167 and some change. After we finished lunch, moms served coffee ice cream for dessert.
Later, I walked down to the gym in Koko Marina at 1pm. Moms started a long overdue load of laundry. I did my full workout at the gym. When I returned, I chatted with moms for a bit. I drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing) and parked my truck along the side road. I also had to perform the dreaded laundry chores. I piddled around in my squalid room for the rest of the afternoon.
Another uneventful evening was spent at my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®, in Kahala Mall. I caught a glimpse of the Asian hottie "bookseller." Baby was looking so hot. I was back in Slob Manor before 9pm. My soul felt even more empty, completely devoid of spirit, when I set foot in my squalid room. I have had absolutely no affect in two days.
Carla Royal described succinctly my own on-going despair:
I want to disappear into the mist. The ancient Chinese poets did. Why can't I? I'm tired of trying to convince others. I'm tired of trying to convince myself. What if I simply gave myself permission to disappear into the mist? I don't want to be a part of this culture, but this culture is all around me, above me, below me, in me. I can't escape it. It permeates all. It touches everything ... and destroys. There is no escaping it, only navigating it, only preparing for its collapse and it IS collapsing. I long for its collapse but I know that I'm not ready for it. I don't know how to grow my own food, treat my own water, build an adequate shelter, make my own clothing and shoes. Civilization has taken that from me and left me as helpless as a child, completely dependent upon it. I live daily with PTSD because of this culture. And the trauma continues daily. I can't escape it. I feel it in my body and soul. I suffer as do all others; my nature friends included.Royal's article titled, "Reclaiming the Soul in a Soul-Murdering Culture," appeared on the Carolyn Baker site. It's a must read.
I had a rough summer. I was traumatized by some folks in a way I've never quite experienced before. I carry that trauma in my body. I am working on releasing it. Because of the nature of the situation I am unable to completely remove myself from the trauma at this time so occasionally I re-experience it. When I re-experience it I go into flight or fight mode. So this is how people walk around in the world. Traumatized by this culture. Traumatized by traumatized people. In constant flight or fight mode. What are we to do, those of us who long for sanity? Culture isn't like a relationship that one can simply choose to leave, and even leaving a relationship is no simple undertaking. But this culture extends into every corner of the earth and every corner of our minds. It is insidious. It is unrelenting. It devours. It will even take our souls if we let it, and we do let it. But surely our soul is the one thing this culture can't take from us unless we allow it. We don't have to allow it. We don't have to surrender our soul, and if we have, we can reclaim it. Perhaps in this culture the most we can do is to reclaim our soul. Reclaim it from the machine, from the institutions, from the busyness, maybe even from God. And perhaps in the reclaiming we will learn something about how to negotiate this culture and its collapse. But how can one go about reclaiming one's soul?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Hotline to Hell
My minor research into brain hemorrhaging (or hematoma) is causing me greater distress. I am not a medical doctor, so I cannot rely upon my own prognosis. However, the symptoms that moms' has reported are coincident with brain hemorrhaging. Moms' opthamologist spotted the pool of blood behind her right eye. Frankly, I see no other option than surgery. The source of the blood leakage must be found and stopped. The pooled blood will destroy brain tissue in the meantime. I only hope that the hemorrhaging is not so advanced that it will preclude the use of microsurgery techniques. Major surgery for moms will be a significant risk at her age. We can only wait for the MRI results to learn the extent of the damage and what the prognosis will be. I am very worried.
I have set up a voicemail account that may eventually supersede my cell phone. I have included the details later in the "blog." I should be able to listen to messages directly from the Web interface. That's the limit of "high tech" in the ol' lavahead's world. Well, there still is the rarely used forums. However, there will be no "podcasts" or videos posted on YouTube® by the ol' lavahead.
I departed for Hawai'i Kai at 9am, first stopping at Safeway® to purchase a cup of coffee and one air-filled energy bar. Moms was home when I arrived. The plans to meet up with Aunty Lyn were not finalized yet. So, I did a partial wax job on my Nissan® Frontier truck. Then, I spent about an hour using my pumice stone to grind down the shale-like skin on the soles of my feet. At one point, moms saw me grinding away with the pumice stone and laughed.
Moms finally contacted Aunty Maria, whom Aunty Lyn is staying with. The plan was for us to drive to the Straub Clinic and visit with Aunty Lyn in Uncle Tosh's hospital room at 2pm. The plan did not sound too great either to moms or me. Moms made hot dogs for an early lunch. Coffee ice cream was served up for dessert. Moms took a nap after lunch while I walked to Koko Marina to do one-half (i.e., weights) of my usual workout at the gym. I returned at 1:15pm. I loaded the goodies that moms wanted to bring along into my truck. Then, we were on our way to Straub.
After finally parking the truck, moms and I made our way to Uncle Tosh's ward. Aunty Lyn and Aunty Maria were there. Uncle Tosh had just gone through a morning dialysis session, so he was fatigued. Aunty Lyn did not recognize me at first. She thought that I was a "Filipino boy." Later, after moms clarified that I was not a "Filipino boy." In fact, the ol' lavahead could easily be a stand-in for General Noriega. Does General Noriega look like a "Filipino boy"? Aunty Lyn guided me outside the room to chat. Oddly, she spent the time chatting with me rather than moms.
For some reason, I sensed that Aunty Maria really did not want moms or I there. Moms had suspected the latter when she had talked earlier on the phone with her. There were just too many people in the room, I suppose. We left after a short 20 minute visit. Aunty Maria and Aunty Lyn were also leaving because Uncle Tosh wanted to rest. I believe Aunty Lyn wanted to make sure that I understood why she wanted to spend almost exclusive time with Uncle Tosh and Aunty Maria. I brought up some of the points to moms in order to insure that moms' feelings were not hurt.
Moms and I drove back to Hawai'i Kai. I chatted with moms for a bit before returning to the gym in Koko Marina to complete the cardio portion of my workout. After a nice shower, I stopped by Foodland. I was able to procure a Spam® Musubi and half of a lamp-baked chicken, all for $2 and some change. I then drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing). I quickly consumed my cheap dinner once I was in my squalid room.
The evening would not be complete without a jaunt to Kahala Mall and my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. So, it was. I spent an hour or so there before returning to the confines of my squalid room at Slob Manor. For the latter part of the afternoon and on into the evening, I felt like a zombie. I was completely devoid of affect. I walked around in a trance, performing all my normal tasks as an automaton would. I did not even know if I was me.
The Fed lowered short-term interest rates by only one-quarter percentage point. I was expecting a drop closer to one full percentage point. The ingrates on Wall Street reacted with a plunge in the stock market. If the Fed continues to plod along with minuscule rate cuts, the war level of two percent will not be reached for another 48 weeks. That puts off the incursion into Iran until the election month of November. What do you suppose that means?
I have set up a voicemail account that may eventually supersede my cell phone. I have included the details later in the "blog." I should be able to listen to messages directly from the Web interface. That's the limit of "high tech" in the ol' lavahead's world. Well, there still is the rarely used forums. However, there will be no "podcasts" or videos posted on YouTube® by the ol' lavahead.
I departed for Hawai'i Kai at 9am, first stopping at Safeway® to purchase a cup of coffee and one air-filled energy bar. Moms was home when I arrived. The plans to meet up with Aunty Lyn were not finalized yet. So, I did a partial wax job on my Nissan® Frontier truck. Then, I spent about an hour using my pumice stone to grind down the shale-like skin on the soles of my feet. At one point, moms saw me grinding away with the pumice stone and laughed.
Moms finally contacted Aunty Maria, whom Aunty Lyn is staying with. The plan was for us to drive to the Straub Clinic and visit with Aunty Lyn in Uncle Tosh's hospital room at 2pm. The plan did not sound too great either to moms or me. Moms made hot dogs for an early lunch. Coffee ice cream was served up for dessert. Moms took a nap after lunch while I walked to Koko Marina to do one-half (i.e., weights) of my usual workout at the gym. I returned at 1:15pm. I loaded the goodies that moms wanted to bring along into my truck. Then, we were on our way to Straub.
After finally parking the truck, moms and I made our way to Uncle Tosh's ward. Aunty Lyn and Aunty Maria were there. Uncle Tosh had just gone through a morning dialysis session, so he was fatigued. Aunty Lyn did not recognize me at first. She thought that I was a "Filipino boy." Later, after moms clarified that I was not a "Filipino boy." In fact, the ol' lavahead could easily be a stand-in for General Noriega. Does General Noriega look like a "Filipino boy"? Aunty Lyn guided me outside the room to chat. Oddly, she spent the time chatting with me rather than moms.
For some reason, I sensed that Aunty Maria really did not want moms or I there. Moms had suspected the latter when she had talked earlier on the phone with her. There were just too many people in the room, I suppose. We left after a short 20 minute visit. Aunty Maria and Aunty Lyn were also leaving because Uncle Tosh wanted to rest. I believe Aunty Lyn wanted to make sure that I understood why she wanted to spend almost exclusive time with Uncle Tosh and Aunty Maria. I brought up some of the points to moms in order to insure that moms' feelings were not hurt.
Moms and I drove back to Hawai'i Kai. I chatted with moms for a bit before returning to the gym in Koko Marina to complete the cardio portion of my workout. After a nice shower, I stopped by Foodland. I was able to procure a Spam® Musubi and half of a lamp-baked chicken, all for $2 and some change. I then drove back to Slob Manor (read: rental housing). I quickly consumed my cheap dinner once I was in my squalid room.
The evening would not be complete without a jaunt to Kahala Mall and my safe haven, Barnes & Noble®. So, it was. I spent an hour or so there before returning to the confines of my squalid room at Slob Manor. For the latter part of the afternoon and on into the evening, I felt like a zombie. I was completely devoid of affect. I walked around in a trance, performing all my normal tasks as an automaton would. I did not even know if I was me.
The Fed lowered short-term interest rates by only one-quarter percentage point. I was expecting a drop closer to one full percentage point. The ingrates on Wall Street reacted with a plunge in the stock market. If the Fed continues to plod along with minuscule rate cuts, the war level of two percent will not be reached for another 48 weeks. That puts off the incursion into Iran until the election month of November. What do you suppose that means?
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