Dystopian Dreams (Reprise)

Usual urban nomad kind-of-a-Sunday. By the way, extended perusals of the hottie gym trainer have become commonplace. Baby is always looking fine. Does baby even matter? Certainly not in the general scheme of things for the ol' lavahead.

I ran into my "homeless" buddy at Ala Moana Center this morning. He ended up chatting with me in the Makai Market, where I always sit and drink my morning coffee on Sunday. I was actually glad to see him. He was on his way to Ala Moana Beach for a swim. As usual, we discussed the various homeless people and the homeless situation. He apparently knows hundreds of the homeless, most likely because of his extensive volunteer work with the Food Bank. He gave me a few more tidbit profiles of some of the homeless regulars at the library.

Back at Slob Manor (read: rental housing), I had a brief period of quiet before the mentally insane Joker came to life in all of his stomping glory. Incidentally, the landlord left a rather lengthy note about the water faucet just outside the front entrance. Someone apparently left the water running all Thursday night. Alan mentioned that he was not the culprit. I often use the water faucet, but I am certain that I shut the valve completely. Oddly, I have returned to the dump on two occasion and have found the water running with no one around. I doubt that the older hottie living in the studio is to blame. That only leaves one suspect, and it's not Kyle.

I should mention that the noise situation has improved considerably. So, I will tolerate the nonsense as best as possible. If the noise becomes unbearable, I can always make the trek to the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala, just as I did this evening. I opted to avoid prophylactic behavior and splurged on a cup of decaffeinated coffee. And, with tablet computer in hand, I was able to post to the "blog." One would wonder why I bother considering that the "blog" is now down to one reader. Sad, isn't it?

Well, I'll be viewing the final unseen episode of "Firefly" on Hulu® tomorrow evening. I'm a little tense about that. After all, the series has really been extremely enjoyable. The "blog" is down to one reader. Soon, no one will be reading it. Changes are happening rapidly, even within my quaint lobotomized life-style. If only I could mummify the hurdy-gurdy video downloads. No "free will," I suppose. No freedom either.

On a final note, I have been attempting to curb some of my more extreme thoughts in order to prevent myself from going insane. I may delineate on a few of those thoughts in the "blog" as a mode of catharsis. In a nutshell, I am realizing that human life, aside from being a biological miracle, is nothing exceptional in the universe. I have also decoupled from the popular thought that humans and animals are completely separate. We are, in fact, more animal than anything else. Our brains, while quite exquisite, can do very little to increase the perceived separation. That's really the origin of incongruence. The original incongruence, where all incongruence stems from. The fact that we are on a collision course with a highly dystopian future confirms the incongruence. As the "blog" converges on zero readership, I will be able to delve more deeply into such matters without causing major disillusionment. Heck, even I won't be reading it. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaa!

The Great Die-Off

Same ol' shit. No details are necessary. I opted to remain locked in my squalid room at Slob Manor (read: rental housing) all evening and download a whole mess of hurdy-gurdy video clips. There's only so much a sane person can handle at the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala. Of course, there's only so many hurdy-gurdy video clips that a sane person can download in one sitting. Baha! Ha! Ha! Haaaa!

After a period of rumination, I have come to the conclusion that the world (as we once knew it) is now over. Kaput. Fini. There will not be a stable recovery from the Great Depression Redux. For most of us in empire, the elusive "American Dream" will disappear forever into mythology. Any semblance of a recovery will simply be a temporary machination of the moneychangers and powers-that-be. I have already discussed ad infinitum that humans are on a collision course with fate. We are now participants in the convergence of Peak Oil, global climate change, and overpopulation.

I can now safely say that we are living in the twilight of the failed "civilization" paradigm. We are already close to 7 billion people with almost all habitable areas being completely overdeveloped. We are pushing our food ecosystem to exhaustion, and soon soil depletion will wield its ugly head. That is, of course, if global climate change doesn't wreak havoc first. And, even if we could find a way to feed all of the open mouths of humanity, we are rapidly running down our one-time endowment of cheap energy. Once the depletion becomes obvious, there will be hell to pay. While most of the world's fools are only concerned about keeping their 4000-pound motorized chairs (read: automobiles) running, our food supplies will dwindle because most of the global agricultural base is dependent on petroleum in one form or another.

We are at Peak Civilization. We may be able to maintain the status quo for another 50 years or so. There may even be hints of recovery and boom times ahead. Both will be short-lived. The sad reality is that humanity is going to make a dramatic downturn. Eventually, if we have not destroyed ourselves by then, we will have to return to a pre-"civilized" society. All of the modern conveniences that we take for granted will be gone. Imagine what life would be like without plastic?

The human population will fall drastically as well. I can politely say that natural attrition will be the cause. However, the real truth is that there will be a lot of pain and suffering. There will be a huge population with little food, very little operational infrastructure, and not much else. Starvation, disease, and anarchy are all that's in store for the future. Realists call that phase, "The Great Die-Off." Provided that we do not destroy ourselves and most other lifeforms on earth with thermonuclear war or that we don't pass the point of no return in completely poisoning our ecosystems, humanity will survive in small pockets to begin again. Once we deplete our one-time supply of cheap energy, though, there won't be a return to the old failed "civilization" paradigm.

With fewer humans around, the earth will heal itself. The natural balance will be restored. In a sense, that will be a boom time for humans. Unfortunately, there won't be any cheap fuel sources to remake the devastating technological miracle that bolstered the failed "civilization" paradigm. The tendency to tilt toward overpopulation will be minimal. Without cheap fuel sources, another "die-off" comes around much quicker.

Obviously, I have made a lot of general and obtuse statements. I am certain that most people would not agree with me. As I've stated before, humans must live in denial in order to survive their individual lives. Sadly, denial is not an effective mechanism for the collective. An open mind should review the current state-of-affairs with the previous commentary as background. The futility of what is going on now in global economics is just a hint of the stupidity that has plagued humanity for eons. The ridiculous "shell game" that passes for solutions are no assurance that we can solve our problems anymore. In other words, we're about to pass the point of no return.

Post No. 1,916

Usual Hawai'i Kai visit. Moms has been grocery shopping with her church friends on Wednesday evenings and Sunday mornings at Foodland Farms in Aina Haina, so there's no need for us to visit Safeway® at least on Friday. Of course, I must do my own grocery shopping after my workout at the gym. I'm not as picky as moms insofar as which grocery store to visit.

Once again, I ended up at the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala this evening. I didn't purchase any beverage. I just composed this marginal post for the "blog." I should have locked myself in my squalid room at Slob Manor (read: rental housing) and downloaded hurdy-gurdy video clips all night long. Heck, I may return to the dump early just for the latter purpose.

Without sufficient "brain food," I am having much difficulty in articulating my thoughts about anything other than the mundane. I wonder if I have literally starved my brain to the point that I have become an imbecile. I really don't want to become one of the myriad mindless cadavers who stagger around the mall endlessly. A large contribution to the poor "brain food" problem is high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). I am certain of it. I have observed with some alarm that most of the food that I consume contains HFCS. No wonder my mind has been essentially blank for several weeks. I also noticed that I have developed a small permanent "spare tire" around my midriff. The "spare tire" doesn't seem to want to disappear even though I consume far less than the minimum daily caloric requirement. What does that tell you?

The sheer amount of chemicals (mostly artificial) that we consume and absorb every day is ludicrous. I assume that with such a constant and steady source of toxins, eventually enough is concentrated to cross the blood-brain barrier. Thus, all of our neurons are subjected to abnormal amounts of foreign chemicals. The brain (and, hence, the mind) must surely be affected. Is that why we see so many zombies walking around? Is that why so many people have lost their minds? Is that why we have been privy to witness so much rampant stupidity?

General Dullness VIII

I decided to forgo my cup of coffee this morning because I felt that I have been drinking too much of the beverage. Even decaffeinated coffee has some caffeine in it. Thus, I felt that I had enough residual caffeine in my body to carry me through the day. Wrong-O! I was extremely groggy all day. The caffeine withdrawal headache came on at noon. By late afternoon, the headache was really throbbing.

Skipping my morning cup of coffee did not abate my anxiety. I observed involuntary psychomotor agitation. My feet kept moving about as I tried to lapse in and out of coma at the library. I also experienced the usual hot flashes. On a positive note, I did not have to visit the restroom every 20 minutes to "drain the lizard." There were also no heart palpitations, the symptoms of which commenced again a couple of weeks ago.

So, I really wanted to resist commenting on the empire's debt ceiling crisis. However, the cheesy kabuki theater is starting to grate on my nerves. Just get rid of Social Security and Medicare already. Stop wasting time with the third-rate histrionics! Stop acting like there's more than meets the eye!

Well, I found myself at the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala this evening yet again. With a cup of decaffeinated coffee in one hand and tablet computer in the other, I attempted to emulate Charles Bukowski. All I did was make a fool of myself, although no one even noticed. In reality, I don't even know how to emulate Bukowski. I can only be the ol' lavahead. Is that just plain sad, or what?

I actually ate subjectively nutritious food today, but my brain still appears to be significantly impaired. The decaffeinated coffee almost brought me back to "normal." At least the throbbing headache vanished. The "blog" remains a casualty. After all, I'm not Bukowski. Who reads the damned thing anyway?

Denial

I am not really doing much anymore at the library. I'm just loitering with the hundreds of homeless people. Sometimes I am able to lapse in and out of a coma. Lately, I have been too preoccupied to relax. Reading is apparently a tertiary activity. I can only read bits and pieces of various books before they disappear, or I lose interest. I've also been reading small Charles Bukowski and Jack Kerouac anthologies. Many moons ago, a reader of the old journal likened my ramblings to that of Bukowski. Flattering as that may be, my writing is too mundane to be worthy of praise. Heck, the readership of the "blog" is down to two people. And, I am not one of them.

I don't exactly know why I forced myself to spend part of the evening at the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall) in Kahala. I didn't want to spend money on a cup of decaffeinated coffee, but I did anyway. I didn't want to compose the "blog" on my tablet computer, but I did so anyway. All I really wanted to do was to vegetate, but not at Slob Manor(read: rental housing).

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, but my thinking processes have been impaired. The human brain apparently requires a lot of energy through healthy nutrition in order to function effectively. Since my diet is close to starvation level, I am certain that my brain is starving as well. Garbage in, garbage out.

Obviously, I have given a lot of thought to human mortality. I have also come to one conclusion: the only way to deal with mortality is through denial. We can only function if we put the thought way in the back of our minds, so to speak, through any and all distractions. In essence, we live in constant denial. Sadly, almost every aspect of human life requires the invocation of denial for normal functioning to occur. That's because humanity is all about pain and suffering. The human experience is fraught with pain and suffering. Hence, we have designed life-styles that are all about denial. I'll let you, my two readers, extrapolate the thought further for now.

Well, I finally removed a few useless "apps" from my tablet computer. Previously, the option to uninstall was available, but the "apps" would quickly reinstall themselves. How stupid is that? I'm not exactly recovering a lot of storage space, but at least I can revel in my minimalist pride. I still long for the day that the tablet computer can take over as the primary. A good spreadsheet "app" is all that I need. Yes, I could abandon the netbook computer and even my vast hurdy-gurdy video library (HGVL). As a workaround to the the HGVL, I could simply download the video clips and discard them later instead of archiving them. Who needs them anyway? Am I living in denial? The Vienna Sausage is atrophying as we speak. Sheesh!

General Dullness VII

At the library, I ran into my "homeless" buddy. I rarely see him these days. He pointed out quite a few new homeless people. The homeless population is exploding, yet the situation has been downplayed by the local "mainstream" news and local ruling elite. I am fairly certain that now is not the time to be homeless. The money for the "safety net" social programs is rapidly vanishing. Things are going to get really ugly. Not to worry, though. There won't be any large-scale revolt. Crime (i.e., stealing, killing, maiming) will remain in-class. Loser pitted against loser. Almost seems as though the whole scenario was planned by the powers-that-be, eh?

I arrived back at Slob Manor (read: rental housing) just before the rain commenced. Or, should I say, light precipitation. I decided to postpone my nightly outing to the den of consumerism (read: shopping mall). Then, the rain stopped abruptly right around the time that the West-bound bus passed by. Oh well.

Checking the Feedjit® Live Feed, I noticed that there has been a drastic increase in visits. The number of visits had dropped to all-time low and remained that way for months. Previously, myriad clowns were searching for babe pictures. Now, they are in search of pictures of hurdy-gurdy stars. Odd, very odd. However, there has also been an unbelievable amount of traffic at the usual hurdy-gurdy video download sites.

So, the clowns are all beefing up their own hurdy-gurdy video libraries. Is that a sign of global societal collapse? You be the judge.

The Voice

Yesterday, I went into lockdown in my squalid room at Slob Manor (read: rental housing) yet again when I returned from the usual urban nomad routine. I was too fatigued to go anywhere. And, with so little to add to the "blog," there was no reason for an excursion with my tablet computer.

Speaking of my tablet computer, its Web browser is phenomenal. That's the only application in constant use on both my computers. However, the netbook is considerably slower in rendering Web pages as well as with video playback. The tablet computer can play 1080p video with ease. Alas, only the netbook has a fully functioning spreadsheet program. The netbook also has a lot more on-board storage and possesses the ability to interface with a portable hard drive. The netbook runs really hot for some reason, while the tablet computer barely is warm to the touch even under hard usage.

Usual Hawai'i Kai visit. Moms is doing fine, considering that moms is nearly 90 years of age. No health problems. No prosthetics. No medications. In fact, aside from the long naps in the afternoon, moms is pretty much doing what she has done for many moons. My family has been blessed in that respect. I am, course, fully aware that anything could happen at any time.

My sister-in-law has been working steadily as a caretaker of senior citizen clients. He jobs are arranged by an agency. She is not a licensed caretaker, though. More like a babysitter for the elderly. Many of the clients are in bad shape, although they are not even close to moms' age. I have to give my sister-in-law some credit because I would find the job to be too mentally taxing. And, how much closer to the reality of mortality can a person get?

Speaking of mortality, I should point any interested reader (who's left?) in the direction of Pychotherapy Networker magazine. There's an entire section worth reading titled, "The New Grief." Last night, I read the article, "Unhappy Endings," by Katy Butler. What a wake-up call! This evening, while at the Barnes & Noble® Café in Kahala Mall with a cup of decaffeinated coffee in hand, I read another article in the section titled, "Goodbye," by Fred Wistow. An excerpt:

In a box in a corner, a very dark corner of the mind of each of us, is a voice. The voice says, "I am going to die. One day, I am going to die."

We tend not to venture near that corner. We rarely listen to that voice. Sometimes it speaks to us so clearly and emphatically that we have to listen. When we're sick, when we narrowly escape harm, when someone we know dies, we hear it speaking to us. We hear it more frequently as we age, as our bodies fail, as our cumulative experience of death increases. Sometimes the voice emits a powerful, powerful scream that shakes us mercilessly. When someone we love dies, the voice tells us that our life is forever altered, that there is no going back.

The voice reminds us that we are, like everyone else who ever lived, mortal, expendable. How we react to this voice, how we try to block it out, determines how we live our lives.

Wistow has certainly captured my own thoughts. The very same voice speaks to me, ever increasing in frequency with each passing day that I grow older. I can no longer ignore the voice as I did when I was much younger and more foolish.

When I returned to the detestable Slob Manor (read: rental housing), I immediately set up my netbook to view another episode of "Firefly" on Hulu®. Only one episode left. My, how time flies, eh?

General Dullness VI

I had a strange (and literal) run-in with a psychotic fifty-something hunchback babe (term used loosely) at Ala Moana Center this morning. I was simply walking along when the bitch slammed into me with her baby stroller. The psycho was apparently in a hurry to go into Mickey Dee's®. The trollop's baby stroller was completely covered with a mesh-type screen. However, I could see a mangy mutt sitting inside. Needless to say, I had to open Lou's School of Etiquette for matriculation. However, that's neither here or there.

Oddly, there has been a proliferation of homeless and insane people everywhere on the island. Often, the homeless are insane. However, there are many psychos running around who are not homeless (e.g., "hunchback") . I've read a variety of articles which all underscored the point that the majority of so-called "Americans" are taking psychotropic medication. A large number of them are prescribed with anti-psychotic medication. We are talking about a large number of people who have lost their minds. In my previous discussions, I have asserted that people who have lost their minds are essentially no longer functional as humans (i.e., zombies).

On a side note, I was somewhat astounded by my conversation with Ann yesterday. I recalled that she talked about working until the "official" retirement age (i.e., 65 years old) or longer as well as other employment-related topics. Mind you, the subject of wage slavery makes me nauseous as it is. However, I was somewhat confused that Ann and most "Americans" believe how easy it is to continue being a dutiful wage slave well into the senior citizen years. These people seem to believe that they will live forever. I am not faulting Ann. I used to say the recite the same kind of nonsense myself. Wage slavery could be considered a form of psychosis. Of course, what do I know?

Nada Redux

At the library, I finally ran into Ann. Apparently, she was able to secure the open position at the law firm that she interviewed with a few weeks ago. Starting date is the first week of August. Ann seemed relieved. Little wonder since her unemployment benefits will run out in less than a month. Well, I hope that the employment situation will be a little less stressful for Ann this time around.

I opted to stay at home (term used loosely) this evening. In other words, I remained locked in my squalid room at Slob Manor (read: rental housing). Big mistake. I was feeling claustrophobic in no time. And, Joker was stomping around in the allegedly cordoned off area above my squalid room.

Incidentally, I had a brief chat with the landlord the other day. The landlord apparently borrowed another $40,000 in equity after refinancing Slob Manor. The plan is to use the money to add a large outdoor patio area to the second floor. The landlord allegedly wants to swap living spaces with Joker. So, Joker will eventually be residing in the two-bedroom unit at the back of the house. Wheee!

Post No. 1,909

Usual Hawai'i Kai visit. I still haven't been feeling too well. Fatigue, mild queasiness, headache, irritability. The problem is that I have experienced the symptoms for quite a while now. Naturally, I am not capable of exercising "free will" while under duress.

An interesting tidbit. I've learned that no human could actually be an atheist because, by definition, an atheist knows with utmost certainty that God of the Yahweh Triad (i.e., Judaism, Pauline-Christianity, and Islam) does not exist. Previously, I had believed that an atheist was simply not a theist (i.e., believer of religious mumbo-jumbo). I certainly cannot claim to know that the latter deity absolutely does not exist, although the circumstantial evidence appears to point in that direction. Long story short, I will have to remain an agnostic until further notice.

Continuation of the "blog" has been a trying experience. Of course, not feeling well may have something to do with my ambivalence. However, there's just not much more for me to discuss. I would actually rather be locked in my squalid room at the despicable Slob Manor (read: rental housing) and downloading hurdy-gurdy video clips. Instead, I was once again at Kahala Mall in the evening again with my tablet computer in one hand and a cup of decaffeinated coffee in the other. Well, as I stated previously, I will maintain the daily "blog" as long as possible, for what that's worth.